Category Archives: Personal Development

The conundrum of comparison – why it’s best to stand on your own two feet

BOOK UPDATE!

Yep, I’m working on my very first book! I’m not yet ready to share the title with you, but I can say that it’s full of mindful tips to live even better. Sign up to my email updates to receive regular newsletters and updates on the progress of my writing!

I begin this post reflecting on my recent travel to Bali. As I met fellow travellers or overheard tales of exotic journeys, lavish accommodations, and tales of endless exciting locations to explore, I found myself attempting to match (or go one better) their stories with my own, since I didn’t want to feel insignificant or be left out.

I was comparing myself to others.

Now, as I adjust to life back in Australia, I notice that this doesn’t just apply to travel. I observe many others, and find myself on the odd occasion, falling into the trap of the destructive tendency to compare with others. It seems I’m not alone in this observation, as I recently received an email update from Leo Babauta with his post on comparison.

Yes, comparison is a conundrum that affects the best of us.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the old saying “it’s like comparing apples with oranges”. Think about it. You can’t. They’re two totally different fruits. It just doesn’t work, so how can we compare ourselves to other, totally different, and wonderfully unique people?

You can’t. Logically, we all know that. Let the apple and the orange be a prime example of this.

Why do we continue to compare to others, and why is it a good habit to learn the art of inner contentment?

Why we dare to compare

Comparison is a useful tool. We use it in our daily lives to assist in assessment of our options, and with great affect. After all, how do we know if we’re getting the best deal on peanut butter unless we have something else to compare to?

Peanut butter references aside, comparison is a tool used daily by each and every one of us – in both a positive and a negative sense.

Used to evaluate material objects (such as peanut butter), comparison can be of benefit and enable us to make a decision and move forward, rather than procrastinate and become stuck.

It’s when comparison is used on an emotional level that things can go pear-shaped, and it’s this form of comparison which I shall cover more in this post.

In the past, I have found myself using comparison in the following ways:

Social status/ranking – In the instance of travel, it’s easy to listen to other tales of exciting travels and become jealous, envious, and resentful towards the other person. I have experienced this first hand many times. The person storytelling has done nothing wrong, yet I found myself breeding resentment and negativity which was fuelled by jealousy of their tales! I would hence feel obliged to intercept their tale and begin my own story, attempting to gain admiration and respect of others in the group and the person with whom my conversation was centred. Those of you who’ve read How to Win Friends and Influence People will know that behaviour such as this is no way to go about it. Rather than curing myself of my discontentment, my rude interruption and generation of competition will likely create resentment, anger, disinterest, and a loss of respect from the person I’m conversing with. Comparison is a conversation killer – everyone appreciates a listening ear, and nobody likes being interrupted. Talking over others and stealing conversation isn’t polite. That’s a universal fact.
Feeling of importance – Similar to obtaining a higher status in a social circle, comparison can easily be used to generate an air of importance about yourself when, in truth, there’s nothing (and nobody) you are able to compare to. Sill, we try, fail, and try again – it’s what we’re trained to do by pop culture and media. Images of beautiful models, ripped abdominals, and fast, luxurious cars – these are all enticing us to want more, to dream more, and to compare with what we don’t have. Yes, it’s important to dream big and reach for the stars, as it’s how we grow. However, it’s also wise to recognize that your dreams are not the dreams of others. Build dreams around you and what you desire and what you aspire to. There’s no need to aspire to be the next Brad Pitt. Your journey will generate negativity and resentment of yourself if you do, since you will struggle to model this ideal picture of yourself (which by the way is not real, but rather a an image portrayed by the media).
Make ourselves feel better – Sometimes, there is no better reason to compare to others, other than to make us feel better. Ever get bullied when you were younger? Chances are the bully was trying to prove something. He (or she) was trying to make you feel insignificant by making a comparison of your (over-animated) situation to either themselves or another popular, significant figure at the time (e.g. the popular student). This can be used in the most peculiar ways. For instance, I remember being bullied when I was young for being ‘rich’, because I received a motorcycle for Christmas. This was upsetting for me, as my family was nothing of the sort, and I didn’t think highly of the label ‘rich’ at the time. The bully was getting the upper hand by using a comparison fuelled by jealousy. Did he feel better for doing so? Unlikely, especially in the long term.

In all situations, there’s no advantage in making comparison to others. It’s a dangerous game – one that will see you lose more than you ever thought you could gain.

Stand tall – how to avoid comparison cutting you short

Comparison is everywhere. It’s both useful and harmful to our being, depending on how you use it.

How can you step aside and control the urge to compare?

Practice active listening – Stop, appreciate, and recognize it’s not yet your turn. Got constructive feedback? Mid conversation isn’t the right time. Practice the habit of waiting until the speaker has finished. This will give you time to think over your well-scripted response to the person whom your attention is devoted, and will allow the complete transmittal of facts that you otherwise would have interrupted. I’m guilty for finishing the sentences of those I listen to, as I assume I know the answer to the topic which is spoken. Quite often, I’m proven wrong. It’s annoying to be interrupted, and the same goes for instances of comparison to others in conversation. Whether it be a direct interruption or a change of direction in the conversation, the result is the same. Learn to sit and listen to the whole story before telling yours.
Get curious – Recognize and note the wisdom you’re blessed to be hearing! If jealousy or resentment begin to rear their ugly heads, take a breath and remember to appreciate the time this person is taking to provide you with valuable knowledge you didn’t know before. Open your mind to the possibility that your attention to this person may lead to a higher understanding, new knowledge, and new friendships that excel your journey forward on new and exciting paths. There’s growth to be found in the journeys of others, not in the comparison with your own. Use the knowledge and apply it if it fits.
Recognise you’re on another journey – Everywhere you look, it’s possible to encounter something bigger, something better, something more. Your best friend buys your dream car. Your younger sibling marries and has children before you do. Your Facebook feed is rich with vagabonding travellers’ tales. The instances to make comparison are endless, and it’s easy to find yourself wanting the join the journey of others. If that’s the case, step back and ask yourself if it’s really what you want, or is it what you’re expected to want. It’s easy to become wrapped up in pressures society has constructed – you know, the whole get educated, get a job, get married, have kids, buy a house…. – and lose track of who you are and what you value most. Put these feelings of lust aside and remind yourself of the unique and wonderfully you journey that you’ve created for yourself.

Above all, it’s best to appreciate and be thankful for the exposure to the new and interesting ideas which have graced your awareness, and which you may use to shape your own future. Acknowledge, store the useful stuff, dispel lingering thoughts, then focus on the here and now. Dwelling on instantaneous emotions and future desires fuelled by comparison is counterproductive to your being, so take note and move on swiftly.

There’s bigger fish to fry.

I write here about comparison since it has affected, and continues to affect my life (much less nowadays thankfully) on a regular basis. As I pursue a path less travelled with my passion by writing to you here, it’s easy to be ridiculed by others close to you, and yearn for a stable career with an income to support a comfortable life. After realizing my values and working more on my passion, I now know it’s not what I want, so mu strength to fight against comparison is much stronger.

Have you been affected by comparison? How have you tackled it? Let me know in the comments below!

Thanks for reading my work. I apologize it has been so long between posts. My recovery from travel and some unforeseen personal matters created a slight bum in my progress, but I’m getting back on track now!

Remember, if you like what you read here, please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time, be mindful…

Jason

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How to let go of the perfectionist and love your perfect imperfections

This beautiful song by John Legend resonates strongly within my heart.

His powerful words “love your perfect imperfections” are such a valuable concept that can be applied to your loved ones, and directly to the love for yourself and your ability to grow.

As I reflect on some wonderful comments from my previous post on practicing mindful habits, I notice an air of anxiety, generated from the overwhelming prospect of additional tasks in our already busy lives.

I get it. I’ve been there too. It was a time not too long ago when I would work hard to control my already hectic schedule, and face the daunting task of perfecting the activities to meet my high standard. There was little room for negotiation, no energy for variation, and as such, limited space for personal growth.

I was a perfectionist.

Since spending time on myself, and looking at ways I could be better, I noticed that perfectionism – rather than being an advantageous trait as I previously thought – was hampering my ability to become better.

To be perfect is to arrive at the final destination. There is no value in perfect, as there is no room for improvement. Improvement requires knowledge, knowledge requires learning, to learn is to grow, growing is living……

I would spend hours cleaning my car every week to ensure a perfect clean.

Meals were prepared according to recipes to ensure quality.

University studies were completed with many iterations and hours of formatting.

My gym routine remained unchanged until I reached the magic goal I had dreamed.

Perfectionism was carving a rut in my road to self improvement.

Over time, I developed an awareness of my ways, and worked on ways to become better. Here’s what I found out…..

How to overcome perfectionism and love your imperfections

Step 1. Recognise the habit

Perfectionism is a well ingrained habit, that’s all.

Maybe I was born with high standards, maybe I learnt from my parents, maybe it was my surroundings. In the end, it’s a way of being I adopted which suited my lifestyle at the time. Perfectionism is a habit which provided security and gave me purpose. That’s no longer the case.

The good news is, habits can be changed.

It takes approximately 30 days of continual practice to build new habits, which seems a long time. Don’t dwell on this. Time passes quickly. Focus on incremental improvements each and every day. Track your progress on a calendar if necessary, so you can see your improvement.

Stop, smell the roses, and recognise the habit of perfectionism as it arises.

Step 2. Breathe

Before doing anything else, just breathe.

Take time to stop and just be in the moment. Giving yourself space before going any further will only elevate your ability to decide and take action.

Step 3. Remind yourself there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’

It’s very easy to turn to others or consult a resource to determine if your future actions are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Truth is, that’s why we do it.

Labelling as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ is easy.

The greater truth lies in looking beyond these labels. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in life, only what makes you feel good, and not.

This will be heavily dependent on your values and beliefs of course, which is exactly why the decision or action you are about to undertake is an experience unique to you.

Remind yourself that you’re aiming for an outcome that works for you, not what society has labelled as ‘right’.

Step 4. Ask yourself if the effort is worth the reward

Before coming to a final decision, it’s valuable to consider your options in light of their effectiveness.

You can easily do ineffective tasks productively (check email, social media posting, watching television etc.), so be wary of decisions that lead to quick feelings of productivity. Instead, ask if the effort of the undertaking is paving way for a reward of equal or greater value.

Align what you do with what you want to achieve.

Make it easier by choosing the path of least resistance to arrive more effectively.

Step 5. Commit to completion

Once you’ve figured out what to do, just get on with it!

Stop second-guessing your motives and speculating failure. Take your ideas and run with them in either of these two directions:

Toward completion – finishing the task and moving forward to new challenges; or
Straight for the eject button – if the idea doesn’t work or doesn’t make you feel good, just drop it. Stop wasting time dwelling on low-value tasks in favour of those that have a greater potential for your growth.

Remember, there is immense value in practicing the art of giving up. If an idea doesn’t work while you are attempting it, or is likely to cause disruption to your progress, commit to dropping it and move on. There’s progress to be made elsewhere.

Step 6. Congratulate yourself

You made it!

You’ve done the hard work, so now it’s time to positively reinforce yourself for breaking through perfectionism and getting important stuff done.

Reflect, socialise, exercise – whatever takes your fancy. Just be sure to devote time for recognition of the hard-fought battle against your perfectionist ways. You’ll get motivated to do even better next time.

When the going gets tough and you find you’re at a stand-still, embrace imperfections! Not everything needs to meet a high standard. In many cases, it’s more important to get things done and move on – learning, growing, and progressing toward your goals. If you’re stuck, you now have 6 simple steps to help you out:

Step 1. Recognise the habit
Step 2. Breathe
Step 3. Remind yourself there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’
Step 4. Ask is the effort worth the reward
Step 5. Commit to completion
Step 6. Congratulate yourself.

Go forth and conquer!

Have you ever struggled with perfectionism? How have you overcome it? Please share in the comments below 🙂

Thanks for reading my work.

Like it? Please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time…..

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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8 energising and mindful habits I (try) practicing every morning

The alarm sounds on your smart phone. It’s an unwelcome start to the day, so you make it better by ‘rewarding’ with a Facebook update, email check, and a quick re-tweet or two.

It typically ends like this:

A friend posted photos of their holiday – you wish you were there.

You read about world destruction and animal cruelty – you’re angry and upset.

A good friend has messaged you to relieve themselves of their previous days’ worries – you’re already emotionally drained.

Your day is now interrupted, and even more energy is required to correct its course.

Since becoming aware of my ‘bad’ habits, I have found activities such as this – immediately turning to ‘info tech’ first thing in the morning for example – are a self-destructive interruption to my awakening, and lead to a less than productive day.

The morning is an important time for my mind to awaken to consciousness and start building thoughts, ideas and objectives for the day. I want these thoughts to be as positive and motivating as possible in order to provide me with ‘forward’ momentum for the day, not ‘backward’.

Therefore, I have made some conscious changes to my morning ritual (and daily habits) that have transformed my life – helping to generate clarity, energy, and inner peace. So much so, I wanted to share them with you.

I’m not perfect, and although I have practiced all 8 of the following habits, I have rarely comleted them all in a day, every day. My aim is to do so, and for now I attempt to trial them, adjust as necessary, and adopt them (and my lifestyle) to suit my needs.

It’s all about give and take, and finding what works best for you.

Enjoy!

1. Mindful awakening

A good friend introduced me to this concept not too long ago. It’s been a great addition to my morning, as I find the process of active awareness very helpful to gain clarity and focus in the mind.

It is best described as follows.

Instead of bolting upright and charging into your day upon awakening (either natural or by alarm), take stock and breathe, becoming slowly mindful of your consciousness, your state, your position in bed, whom you are with, and how good it feels just to lie in silence.

Practice for as long as you need. I do this for 3-5 minutes before rising.

NOTE: If you are prone to falling asleep after an alarm sounds, it may be a good idea to use the ‘snooze’ function to be sure you don’t accidentally sleep in!

2. Hydration

This is the most important step for your daily health and wellbeing.

The body consists of almost 80% water, and during your sleep phase is the time your organs choose to repair, re-energize, and refuel your body. In thee process, excreting toxins and waste.

In order to flush these toxins away and rehydrate, it’s important that you consume adequate clean water BEFORE you ingest any further material. I aim to consume at least a litre of water within 30 minutes of rising, and this frequently turns into 1.5 litres. The more the better.

Incorporating this habit also aids in reducing your hunger level, and subsequently the amount of food you consume in the morning – a great tip for those looking to lose weight.

3. Meditation

Meditation is a far-reaching topic in which I am certainly no expert. I have only just begun exploring the true value of this practice in clearing my mind and improving my self-control ability.

I was introduced to the concept of an ‘8-minute meditation‘ by a book recommendation from a friend. Essentially, you begin practicing meditation for an easy-to-digest 8 minute session per day, using a stopwatch to measure. I find a defined duration extremely useful in providing a ‘goal’ for the meditation session in the early days of meditation practice. As time progresses, you can choose to extend it if comfortable.

I find meditation helps to ‘centre’ my thoughts, which is extremely useful to have upon wakening. It’s easy to get caught up in the ‘should do’s’ and the string of positive (and negative) thought patterns of the past, present and future. Meditation is a way to practice the art of recognising these thoughts and controlling them so that they don’t control you.

4. Positive affirmations

The subconscious mind responds to what it is regularly told, so it’s important to start the day telling it good things!

Affirmations can be phrases, quotations or just inspirational sentences that give you a ‘pat on the back’ feeling. They will be unique to our taste and what areas of life you feel the need for a boost, so take the time to make a list of 5 affirmations you can recite 5-10 times each.

A great list of affirmations to get you started can be found here.

Find a comfortable, seated position (I find on the edge of my bed a great spot), put the affirmations where you can easily read them (I have mine posted on the wall beside my bed), and let the good vibes flow.

5. Visualizations

The subconscious mind doesn’t only respond to words.

Images are a useful way to manifest what you are aiming to achieve. I’m sure if you’re actively practicing personal development (like me), you’ll be aware of the ‘vision board’ concept, and using it to visualise future objectives, manifesting them to realisation via the law of attraction. The vision board is a useful prompt for your visualisation time. It’s also a way to repeatedly visualise objectives, which is necessary in order to cement them into your subconscious.

Fill your board with graphical representations of your objectives (material wealth, relationship desires, lifestyle design etc.) and place it in a suitable position (like on the wall next to your bed) where you can easily refer to it every morning. Take about 5 minutes to look at each image, close your eyes, and imagine living the objective it represents as if it were real.

You can find out how to make your own vision board using this helpful resource.

6. Movement

There’s nothing more energizing than blood pumping through your arteries, so start the day with exercise.

It doesn’t need to be heavy. It could be as simple as some yoga or light stretching, or you could choose a run or weight lifting session.

It’s totally up to you what you choose, just get those limbs moving and focus on deep, wholesome breathing to re-energize your blood with oxygen.

7. Nourishment

Your body consists of energy.

We are constantly creating and using energy through chemical processes in our body. As such, we need adequate fuel.

This will be another unique factor that you’ll need to play around with. I’ve experimented with different diets over the years and have decided the following works best for me:

A large glass of Vital Greens, Pea Protein and filtered water within 30 minutes of waking (normally before meditation)
A wholesome, mostly plant-based breakfast with no sugars or grains (avocado, eggs, spinach, beans, mixed vegetables, sweet potato, wholesome oils and seeds)
A cup of green tea (differs depending on mood) and/or warm lemon water to digest.

Filling my morning with alkaline greens and protein gives me fuel, gives my muscles repairing nourishment, and leaves me feeling energised and fuller for longer.

8. Tackle creative tasks first

What’s the number 1 killer of effective work?

Mundane, repetitive, ‘tick and flick’ tasks.

Checking email, tweeting updates, social media surfing, ordering food online for your cat….. you know what I mean.

These are ‘feel good’ tasks. – tasks that make you feel like you’re being productive, when in reality you’re weaving all over the place without addressing the important stuff (like writing wonderful blog posts 🙂 ).

Drop all the little bits and pieces and hit the ‘hard’ stuff – the tasks which see you kicking goals towards your passion – first. You’ll have a greater focus, stronger mental capacity (without the constant stop-start or various tasks), and increased effectiveness of your workload.

If you’re finding there ‘aren’t enough hours in the day’ or ‘I never seem to make any progress’, I recommend you stop, look at your day, and see which of the following 8 mindful habits you can implement in order to find your mojo:

Mindful awakening
Hydration
Meditation
Affirmations
Visualizations
Movement
Nourishment
Starting with creative tasks.

I’ll point out that these habits are provided as a guideline.

I’m sure there are many more useful practices that could be used to give your day a boost (e.g. now in a flourishing relationship, I regularly add intimacy with my partner since we awaken at similar times. This intimate connection with another fills my ‘love tank’ and gives me energy and vitality). Feel free to add, subtract, or modify their order as you please.

You are unique, so what works will be up to you to determine through experiments.

These 8 habits have helped me substantially, and I hope you can work towards a more mindful, effective day for yourself, now that you have an awareness of them too.

Are there any habits that you find help kickstart your day in a positive way? What tricks do you use to be effective at your work? I’d love to hear about them. Please leave a comment below!

Thanks for reading my work.

Like it? Please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time…..

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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The paradox of choice – What to do when you’re overwhelmed with options

In researching this concept, I discovered that I am not alone in my bewilderment! I encourage you to explore the above video to learn another perspective of the topic I will discuss in my own words below….

As I took a short walk this morning from my lovely homestay in Ubud, Bali, to a local market to fetch groceries for breakfast, I became mindful of a difficulty I’d been having since my arrival to the wonderful country.

I’d arrived to the market with a clear idea of what I was looking for – ingredients to make a healthy Indonesian-style omelette, and discovered that the ingredients I required (eggs, onion, eggplant, leafy greens) were available from almost all of the 10+ market sellers.

Where to go? Who to choose? Was product better here or there?

It was then that it hit me. I was overwhelmed by the abundances of produce, the variety of stalls, and the effort of choice.

We all crave it, we all want it, we all need it.

The good news is, there’s plenty of it out there. You only need to look in a grocery aisle and discover the number of alternative brands offering the same product to realise this. The question is, how do you avoid becoming overwhelmed? How do you decide what to choose when faced with so many options?

How can you overcome the paradox of choice?

This post will raise awareness on the power of choice in life, and provide you with 5 key concepts I use to tackle the paradox head on.

Say goodbye to blank stares in the supermarket isles.

Why we need choice

The ability to choose is a disrespected luxury that we in the western world have.Have a think about it. How often have you not been provided with a choice in the goods or services you’re searching for (Not counting the lack of available resources i.e money as limitations)?

Not very often I’ll bet.

So there’s definitely an abundance of choice in our lives, but why?

Perception of freedom.

I’ll give you a personal example of what I mean.

Here in Bali, as with all tourist destinations, there is an abundance of activities to immerse yourself in. Bicycle tours, trekking volcanic mountains, you name it. I’m an adventurous type of guy, so naturally I want to give some of these a shot. Walking through the streets, I have seen so many tour operators offering the exact same service.

Exactly the same!

Having this choice is extremely time consuming and emotionally draining (as I’ll discuss soon), but I like it.

Why?

I can shop around. I can compare deals. I can get a better price for the trip I want.

More options gives me freedom.

Without options to allow a choice, I’m hypothesising that I’d have felt trapped, cornered, and like I was getting ‘done over’ by the locals who (understandably) all want to make a dollar. Moreover, I’d be far less likely to do anything at all, as the lack of choice would raise my scepticism of their authenticity and genuineness.

So why did I need choice?

Choice provided me with reassurance of authenticity and authority in claims, and with the perception of freedom.

Choice was (and is) a necessary factor in my ability to reach a decision and move forward.

In limited amounts…

Too much choice means…

Headaches!

There are some great articles on the topic out there (including this one), highlighting the problem with an abundance of choice.

We don’t know what to do with it.

Yes, choice is necessary to come to decisions, and too much choice can have the opposite effect.

An abundance of options gives us no limitations, no scope, and leaves us with blurred criteria we would normally have enforced with limited options to come to a decision.

Too much choice is confusing, time consuming, and mentally overwhelming.

Arriving at a mental stand-still, suffering from what I term “paralysis through analysis”, will find you at the same point on the opposite end of the spectrum.

You’ll struggle to make a decision n times when choice is abundant.

It’s all a balancing act, so how to tip the scales in you favour?

Overwhelmed by choice? Try this.

1. Know your criteria

Criteria are what we can use as a map through the maze of choice.

Going shopping? Make a list (and stick to it).

Booking a tour? Know how much you are willing to pay and what you expect from the experience (Note: some research will be required).

Having criteria will act as a reminder of the true objective of your acquisition.

No successful project was ever completed without a well defined scope. Let your criteria be yours.

2. Practice limiting your options

Just because there are abundant options out there, doesn’t mean there needs to be.

Use your criteria from above to assist you in eliminating options that you know are not suitable. This process of elimination will not only reduce choice, it will either confirm or get you to question if the decision is indeed what you are looking for in the first place.

3. Stick to what works

There is sanity to be found in repetition.

Found a toothpaste that rocks your world? Keep getting it, even if it’s an extra 20 cents.

Having trouble choosing a new smartphone but have a friend that’s recently purchased one and is extremely happy? Use their experience and try their recommendation.

If you have a history with a successful option, or trust someone else that has, there is liberation to be had in utilizing it.

Make life easier for yourself by finding something that works, and sticking to it.

4. Follow your gut feeling

This is an important ability that I believe deserves mention.

Think back to times when you’ve had to make important decisions, what they were, and the outcomes that ensued.

Did you have a feeling it would be that way?

I get this quite a bit.

As such, I find myself using my instincts and ‘gut feeling’ more and more.

You’re smarter than you think. Try looking past the logic and grab hold of your instinct. You may be surprised at your abilities.

5. Do nothing

Sometimes it’s best to step away and do nothing.

It’s possible that the reason you’re there, isn’t reason enough. Use the experience, take stock, and revisit the points above to create clarity.

There are many battles that can be fought, it’s a matter of choosing the right ones for you.

The concept of the choice paradox is not a new one. There are many whom have theorised and philosophised in opposition, advocating a simple life (Epicurus, Buddha and Gandhi to name a few) to free the mind and soul for more pleasant activities.

I’ve only touched on it here with my recent experiences in my travels, and there are meny more instances that I could cover that reinforce the undeniable fact that too much choice makes life difficult.

Luckily I’ve devised 5 useful tips to help you on your journey to overcome your abundance of choice.

Try practicing the following when next you’re faced with a complex or overwhelming decision:

Creating criteria
Reducing the number of options
Sticking with what you (or trusted others) know
Follow your gut; and
Doing nothing.

I’m sure that these simple processes with have you break through that mental barrier, and leave your conscious free for bigger and better things!

Have you come across mental roadblocks caused by choice? Is there a time when you’ve become overwhelmed / frustrated / upset with abundance and an inability to act? Please leave a comment! I’d love to hear from your experiences, and you never know how you can be a help to others.

Thanks for reading my work.

Like it? Please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time…..

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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References

Tim Ferriss – The Choice Minimal Lifestyle

Barry Schwartz – The Paradox of Choice

The Sydney Morning Herald (article) – No Freedom in Too Much Choice

Bored with a predictable life? 4 ways to embrace spontaneity and spice things up!

August 27, 2014Personal Developmentadventure, certainty, new experiences, personal development, spontaneity, travel, uncertaintyJason Townsend

No recipe is more enjoyable than those with a surprising kick. Spontaneity is the true spice of life.

Hello again my wonderful readers! It’s been a while since I last wrote. My apologies. You may remember in my last post I talked about recent life changes and how they opened my eyes to the possibilities available to me. For a long time I felt trapped in a circle of mundane, boring rituals that formed my simple existence around the typical 9-5 job. Looking back, I ponder as to why life at 28 y.o got boring so quickly. What was it that led me to be ‘trapped’ inside the little world I saw as my ‘normal’ every day existence?

Predictability.

Predictability, the ominous sister of spontaneity, was dominating my life.

It’s true that predictability, born of security, is one of the six fundamental human needs each and every one of us have. That said, it does not need to dominate our existence.

In this post I’m going to talk about predictability – why we all need it, and also why we don’t – and how using spontaneity is creating some truly remarkable life experiences for me right now. You’ll be able to take this new awareness of predictability and apply some simple ideas to add a little spontaneity ‘spice’ to your life.

Let’s get started 🙂

The prudence of predictability

Never was there anything more predictable than a man with pants…

Yes, it is indeed reasonable, and in many cases necessary, to exercise an element of predictability in life. After all, how would we function without basic, predictable routines (bathing, meals, exercise, work/purpose) to keep us on track?

We all know what predictability is. Your best mate is a gym junkie, you know it, and you ask what they’re up to tomorrow evening. “Just going to the gym, nothing special”.

Predictable.

It’s easy for me to critique the use of predictability in life, and my writing above is doing just that. However, my awareness is such that I respect people’s need (including my own) for a little slice of predictability every once and a while.

Predictability – why we need it

I see predictability as being tied very closely with one of the 6 fundamental human needs we all have, as discussed by Tony Robbins in his blog.

Predictability goes hand in hand with certainty.

To be stable, calm, nd content, we all need an element of certainty in our life. Certainty that our actions lead to pleasure and avoid pain.

Quite often, predictable habits are those which we have created to ensure a pleasurable outcome. Going to the gym is an excellent example. Those who indulge in regular physical activity know the ‘feel good’ endorphins released during a workout are able to dull any pains, worries, and stresses of the day. After experience (which provides certainty) we realise it makes us feel good, so we schedule it into our weekly routine, thus making it a predictable occurrence in our lives.

There are many more instances of certainty – Friday night movies, a house that provides shelter, a desire to experience life with another. Looking deeper, there is an element of certainty present, which is tailor made to the individual by incorporating it as a predictable event.

I myself require meaning in my life. This is certain, as I have experienced pain in having nothing. So I am predictable in my nature to fill the day with actions that lead me toward my objectives, and towards pleasurable feelings.

Unfortunately, pleasurable, comfortable, and predictable actions can be counter productive in abundance.

Why we (sometimes) don’t need predictability

There’s predictability, then there’s spontaneity.

Comparatively, there’s certainty, and there’s uncertainty.

Equally as important as certainty, uncertainty is another of our 6 fundamental human needs.

Uncertainty is that butterfly feeling when you attempt a new experience. It’s the tingle in your skin before you jump off a waterfall. The feeling of dread when you’re let go from your job; and….

The excitement of anticipating the unknown.

I want to focus on the above ‘positive’ use of uncertainty in life.

Yes, there are many scary instances we want to avoid, or dread to experience (some are listed above, and I’m sure you know many more). This is where predictability (and certainty) can be a saviour of our sanity. How about the exciting, crazy new experiences that await each and every one of us? Don’t be fooled. Predictability isn’t all sweet-smelling roses.

Predictability can lead us to be blinded by the security of certainty, and accept a substandard life.

It may be a strong use of words, and it’s how I feel.

I feel that uncertainty in the form of spontaneity is vital for living an exciting, purposeful, and rewarding existence.

How would you know your capability if you didn’t jump?

How would you learn to find if you never got lost?

How would you act, if never chose to ‘just do’?

Being spontaneous is like drinking liquid courage. It’s the acting on an idea without too much forethought and planning – which in many cases convinces you to do nothing instead.

I’d like to share an example with you of an application of spontaneity in my own life.

I’m writing this blog post for you outside a simple hotel room in a small town called Gilimanuk, Bali. Had you have asked 2 weeks ago where I would be, I would certainly not have dreamed I would be here. Why? I had no job, and I had no desire to travel to Bali. Everyone I asked would say “why would you go there?”, or “it’s such an unsafe place. What about the bombing?”.

It’s true, I had heard many other negative comments of Bali, and combined with my uncertain financial situation, my desire to be spontaneous and travel to Bali was low. There was something present in that moment. All the negativity, all the roadblocks, all the lure of certainty in doing nothing, drove me to be spontaneous. Within a week of the initial thought, I was embarking on a 5 week trip to Bali – no planning, no research, and an expectation of expecting the unexpected. Now I’m in Bali. I’ve been here over a week and I have only praise for this wonderful island and its remarkable culture, atmosphere, and natural wonders. To me, I think the ‘haters’ don’t know what they’re missing out on.

Would I be here if I didn’t be spontaneous? Definitely not. I would have found many other reasons not to venture abroad, or choose a ‘safer’ destination.

This is one such example as it relates to me. Sure, you may not feel comfortable embarking on a journey to Asia, or there may be real life limitations (such as finances) to your ability to do so. Be creative and find what’s out there for you to spice things up.

There is gold to be found in spontaneous action. Find what suits you, and give it a try.

Not sure where to start?

4 ways to embrace spontaneity

It’s easy for me to write about, and I’ve got experience that’s for sure. What if you don’t?

Try these.

1. Get curious

Ideas are born out of curiosity.

Rather than look around and just accept how things are, try being curious and delving deeper into hidden meaning and a realm of possibility in alternative ways. Remember, there are two sides to every story, and what you actively recognise is only one of these. Only ever seen spaghetti cooked in a pot? Try frying it instead. Never tried Indian food because you thought it was too spicy? What if it isn’t?

Get curious and question what you know. Chances are you’re wrong 😉

2. Try something new

It’s a pretty simple thing, and sometimes it’s the most overlooked.

Once curious of alternative ways, you can use your power of action to try something new. Remember, ideas don’t exist until action makes them a reality.

Take action of your new ideas and try them!

3. Be spontaneous with someone

Need some extra courage? Lacking inspiration? Want to enhance an experience?

Try it with someone.

I find that life experiences are enhanced when I attempt them with someone else, particularly someone I care about. Thee’s something really special in sharing moments of joy, sadness, laughter and adventure. If you’re having trouble being spontaneous, chances are it will be many times easer with someone else.

4. Travel – to a place you wouldn’t normally go

One of my favourites.

If you’re looking for a way to be spontaneous, get packing and go to a destination not on your bucket list.

By no means do you need to travel overseas. It could be as simple as a local suburb you’ve avoided.

As with my Bali experience, there is magic to be found in squashing your negative pretences. Get out there and start hammering yours…

The comfort of predictability has uses for us all, and in many cases it’s a necessary tool to make life ‘work’.

That said, I’m a strong believer that there’s immense value beyond this ‘box’ of living, so I encourage you to try one of my ways to embrace spontaneity in your life:

Get curious
Try something new
Do it with someone
Travel somewhere you’d normally not go.

Battling fear of the unknown?

Remember to ask yourself “what have I got to lose?” Chances are there’s much more to be gained….

Thanks for reading my work.

Like it? Please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time…..

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

No job, no home, and no plans. 3 life qualities needed to action a life changing decision

August 11, 2014Personal Developmentchange, goals, mindset, moving forward, personal development, self awarenessJason Townsend

Never regret anything in life, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

I’m back!

It’s been a big couple of weeks since I last wrote, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

I’ve just settled into a new (albeit temporary) home, living with my parents, in a small country town in Victoria, Australia. As I adjust to a new environment, MUCH colder temperatures, and a new “routine”, I am happy to say that my urge to write for all of you continues to burn hot and fierce.

So, what’ been happening?

To summarise: I quit my job, moved across the country, and met an amazing girl.

Let me elaborate.

July 18 was the final day at my desk job. It’s been a work in progress for over 2 years now, and I’m glad to say that I’m well into a transition – a transition to a happier, and a whole new me. I knew from the second year of my four year university degree, that my choice of occupation (Mechanical Engineering) was ‘not my cup of tea’. I’ve tried many avenues, and have decided that, for the moment, we are not a match meant to be.

Many people ask my “why?”, to which I respond “why not?”. Some people see my situation as a lost opportunity – leaving a stable, well paying career – whereas I see many, many opportunities to be gained. Besides, I have the safety net of a degree, so now it’s time to be adventurous, be daring, and begin my journey according to my own terms.

After 6 years searching with an outdated map, it’s time to go shopping….

I quit my job, packed my bags, shoved life into my tiny VW Polo, and headed south towards new opportunity, inspiring friends, and a foreign land to explore. I’ve been in my element – totally immersed and enjoying the sites, sounds, and simplicity of life on the road. As the powers that be would have it, I met an amazing girl along the way. Another exciting bend in the road awaiting the navigational prowess of this race-car driver! It’s been a blast!

My life – it fits inside a VW Polo!

It’s not all been smooth sailing though. It’s been a tough mental battle to make it this far, as there are no shortage of people questioning my motives. The ensuing negative, damaging self-talk is therefore less than productive towards my overall desire to be free and search for my true calling.

In comes this post.

Fast forward to now. My previous journey has ended, and a new one has begun. It didn’t happen naturally. Oh no. It’s not like Santa came and just handed me money, freedom, and a gold plated chocolate egg to make me feel good. I attribute my recent actions to certain qualities that I’ve developed and have been nurturing over the past 2 years. It’s taken a lot of work, and I’m sure it’ll take lots of work for you too (should you decide to action a life-changing decision of your own).

That said, I believe the first step is awareness.

I’ve made some pretty radical changes, and I want to help you do it too. I was able to do it because I recognised the power of the following 3 qualities in myself and my surroundings. I’m confident that if you recognise them, you’ll be well on your way to some awesome life-changing adventure too.

Let’s begin.

3 qualities to action life-changing decisions

Want to implement some life-changing decisions for yourself? I recommend starting with the following 3 qualities. They’ll naturally progress as you grow, so it’s a great place to start planting your seeds.

1. The right support

I’ve talked about it many times before, and I’ll say it again.

You’ve gotta select the right people to support you!

Remember this quote?

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

~Jim Rohn

In no way is this more important than when it comes to fulfilling your dreams, desires, and goals of change.

If you’ve ever tried it, you’ll know what I mean when I say it’s hard to go at it alone. The world is a big, scary place when confronted as one.

As a wise proverb states, a problem shared is a problem halved.

If you’re stuck and don’t have any inspiration, make this your number one priority. Get out there, do what you love to do, and connect with like-minded people. Your spirit, enthusiasm, and progress towards your goals will accelerate beyond imagination!

2. You just gotta have faith

George Michael said it right. Sometimes, you’ve gotta have faith.

Some people believe in fate, some in coincidence, some in destiny. None are incorrect. All have their place in this world as they ‘work’ for different people.

Above all of these, I’m certain that to do better, you need to go further.

To succeed, you must learn to nurture the quality and the belief of faith in yourself.

Faith – confidence or trust in a person, thing, deity, view, or in the doctrines or teachings of a religion. It can also be defined as belief that is not based on proof, and is often used as a synonym for hope, trust, or belief.~Wikipedia

You don’t need to believe in a ‘higher power’ for miracles to happen. There are miracles awaiting your discovery inside of you!

When times get tough and what you do seems silly, unrealistic, or impossible, these are the times to call on your quality of faith to inspire you. Remind yourself that all the ‘miracles’ of the past (think electricity, man landing on the moon, the invention of the modern computer for example) were created by people just like you. The thing is, they had mastered an important ability.

Successful people have a mastered ability to have faith in their actions, their judgement, and in what they stand for.

3. All talk and no action won’t get you far. Get motivated

There is never a result without decisive action!

I’m sure you’ll have seen it before. There’s no shortage of people that sit and complain about the state of ‘X’ or the annoyance of person ‘Y’, and that’s as far as they get…

Complain, foster resentment and anger, and complain even more.

Talk with no action is likely to lead to a cycle of doubt, a loss of faith, and the development of subsequent negative though patterns which, as I’ve discussed before in a previous post, are damaging to your ability to be better.

Sure I get it, action is scary.

What’s scarier though – Acting with the possibility of success, or stalling with a guarantee of failure?

It’s up to you. Take action, the rest will follow.

There you have it. It’s a snippet of how I arrived to writing this post, and what it took for my ship to sail this far. It’s a big, long winded journey, and one I am excited to be sailing under the power of my own sail.

Have you got an idea to change life and don’t know how to start? I suggest you start with these important qualities discussed in this post that will give you strength and guidance on your journey.

Selection of the right support network,
Faith in your abilities, and
Action on your plans.

I’ve found them most helpful on my journey, and I hope they prove helpful to you too.