Tag Archives: reflection

Create your future – 3 areas of your life to use selection and get what you want

Personal Development, , , , , ,

The power of selection in your life

Are you the type of person that tends to go with the flow? How about your friends. Are they the result of a period of lonely desperation?

Take a break, step back, and ask yourself the following question.

Is your life in “fate’s” hands, or are you the captain of your ship?

Honestly.

How much of what has happened in your life is the result of your desire to have it happen? Are the people in your life providing a positive contribution to your growth? Do your actions align with who you are, and more importantly, who you want to be?

I can say with certainty that I was floating along for many years, not attracting positive outcomes that aligned with my spirit and inner being. It seemed no matter how hard I tried to make things work (relationships, goals, outcomes, dreams etc.), they never seemed to ‘stick’.

Now, as I am sooo much older (joke) and wiser, I can see what was missing all along.

I was missing the importance of selection.

Used positively, selection will give you the ability to reach new heights, and master your destiny.

This post is going to talk about the practice of selection – what it is to me, how I have used it, and the three areas which I see it can improve the outcome of your goals, dreams, desires, and help you find relationships you’ve dreamed of.

What is selection

Although this blog post will cover my spiritual and emotional views on selection, I find many similarities in the scientific definitions.

Take a look below. I’ve highlighted some interesting points.

In the context of evolution, selection refers to individuals with advantages or“adaptive” traits, who tend to be more successful than their peers reproductively—meaning they contribute more offspring to the succeeding generation than others do.

~Wikipedia

Natural selection is the gradual process by which biological traits become either more or less common in a population as a function of the effect of inherited traits on the differential reproductive success of organisms interacting with their environment. It is a key mechanism of evolution.

~Wikipedia

The definition of selection

Using these evolutionary-based definitions, I present to you my definition of selection as:

Selection – a process applied by individuals in which desired traits are inherited by deliberate exposure to a chosen population and/or environment. 

Selection is everywhere.

At a subconscious level, it drives us to pick certain people as partners, to desire certain objects, to behave certain ways.

Good news is, it can be controlled.

Selection can be a choice you make.

Not only is selection programmed into our being as evolution, I believe there are strong advantages that can be gained through adaptation of this concept into your thought process, and your action.

Yes, you can choose selection in your life.

Selection is a framework for you to act on your preferred choices.

Sure, it acts at a subconscious level constantly without us even knowing; but what if you could increase your awareness to the process? How could you use the process of selection to create positive outcomes in your life?

The first step is a commitment to action – to act upon your desire to change.

This is key.

No matter how much you dream, visualise, think about something, nothing eventuates without some form of action from you.

The next step is to choose which areas to act upon.

3 areas of your life that the use of selection will improve

It sounds selfish, but I’ve been gradually increasing my practice of selection since Anthony Robbins brought it to my attention through his audio programs in 2012.

That’s because selection requires you to choose and act upon options that are best for you. 

So where can you apply selection and why would you bother?

Here are 3 areas of my life which have seen profound improvement by using the selection process.

1. Relationships

This is the single most important area for me, and chances are it is for you too.

Why? Consider the following quote:

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

~Jim Rohn

I’m a social person – more of an extrovert than an introvert. Human interaction is one of my primary means of learning, and a topic of personal interest. This means that I find myself easily influenced by the people I choose as company.

The company I choose has a direct influence on the habits, skills, and mental health I learn and adopt.

I’ve met and bonded with some great people in my time, and I’m grateful to have them as friends today. On the other side of the spectrum, there are some people that who I’ve had limited choice over due to my environment at the time (see the next key area below).

I’m sure you will agree when I say that not all relationships are equal. It’s true that all people can provide you with value – be it company or knowledge –  so long as the value aligns with your chosen goals, values, morals etc.

You have the ability to select those people you feel are contributing positively to your growth. Why not use it?

If someone doesn’t align with your aims, it isn’t right to outright ignore, discount, or in any way direct offence toward them. After all, how are they to know? Your choices are not their choices. Consider their offerings, and decline graciously if you decide they aren’t a good fit for you.

Be kind, respectful, and compassionate with your dealings. After all, it isn’t hard to practice the simple act of courtesy to those we meet.

Besides, the world could never run short of kindness and compassion.

2. Environment

This is the most obvious area of life that influences our future.

Choosing a place to live, getting that ideal job in the city, a holiday on the ocean listening to the waves…….

Our environment can play a huge part on how we feel, and thus how we are able to learn, grow, and interact.

Ever been put in an environment that made you feel anxious, overwhelmed, trapped etc.? Not an ideal space to harbour learning or personal growth, and an ideal place for negativity to flourish.

In some cases, your work, hobbies, or even where you live, all lead to an environment that can be toxic to your future. It will be unique for each person of course. There are no one-cause-fits-all answers, nor do there need to be. Based on this post, you already know the answer right….

Selection.

OK, so it may be difficult to have your cake and eat it too, so I’ll be more specific.

Select an environment that aligns with your goals, values, morals etc. that you can spend the majority of your time amongst.

Like the environment? Live near a park.

Love being outdoors? Have lunch outside.

Want to save the Koalas? Don’t work for a mining company (this is a personal one for me!).

Choose what environments nurture your positive growth and select them, committing to action.

3. Sources of Information

Today’s world revolves around information. You’re absorbing more right now. Television, radio, newspapers, magazines, internet, social media….. The list of influential information is extensive, and getting longer.

When was the last time you applied a filter to the information you’re exposed to?

Do you watch the evening news? The morning news? Read a newspaper?

Have a think about how often you remember seeing something positive. Something with substance. Something that actually had relevance to your life and your future.

Chances are, you won’t remember many.

Surprising isn’t it, considering how much time people spend exposing themselves to the overload of information out there.

Selection, selection, selection.

Timothy Ferriss talks about the concept of a ‘low information diet’ in his book, the Four Hour Workweek, to get you to see what it’s like to remove yourself from information overload. Essentially, you go without viewing/reading/listening to any form of informative or educational material for a week, and see if your life is really worse of for it.

After performing this selective information intake continuously for about 2 years now ( i don’t watch or read world news, and if I want to know then I ask someone instead), I can guarantee your life won’t stop. In fact, quite the opposite.

With less unnecessary information, there is space for meaningful information.

Rather than just listen to any old audio for something to do, or slouch on the couch in front of the news because that’s the ‘done thing’, select what information works for you and provides you real value to enrich the quality of your life.

Watch an inspiring documentary, read that novel, start that long delayed project.

Practice selective information intake, and you’ll find many more hours in your day to put towards things that matter to you. Feel the need to find out what’s happening in the world? Ask someone else. They’ve spent the time absorbing it all so you don’t. Use them!

Less time spent on unnecessary information, means you’ll have more time to do what you want.

And you can start right now!

I’m going to challenge you to make the process of selection a concious consideration in your life. No longer is it an evolutionary term which you let happen. It can be controlled.

Select your relationships, environment, and the information you expose yourself to wisely.

Use my definition to empower yourself, and carve your destiny so that you get what you want in life.

You have a choice, and no matter how hard it seems, you have the ability to take action.

Selection is the actioning of your choice.

Get out there and start creating your future!

Are there any areas of your life other than those mentioned above that you feel contribute to the quality of your life, and the creation of your future? I’d love to hear about it! Tell me more in the comments below.

I appreciate you taking time to read my work. If you like it, please share it with your friends on social media using the links.

The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

Do more with less – embrace a minimalist view of life and be happier sooner

Minimalism, , ,

If there is one thing I have learnt that has changed the way I think profoundly during my short time, I can say that it’s this.

Having more does not equal happiness.

This applies to money, relationships, objects……… anything.

Instead, I’ve discovered the true value in getting by with less, and making do with what I already have.

Some would see it as being ‘cheap’. I see it as a smarter way of being that gives me satisfaction, happiness, and a feeling of freedom that allows me to do so many more activities which feed my love for life.

Of course, there is no shortage of opposition to this belief. That’s fine.

I now know it’s not my way. My path winds clearer, uncluttered, simple.

What inspired this post is the following illustration of minimalism as a story told between a successful businessman, and a successful man – both of whom believe they have it all.

See which man you prefer to model. I know which one I admire most.

I hope you enjoy it.

Excerpt from my favourite book, The Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss.

An American businessman took a vacation to a small coastal

Mexican village on doctor’s orders. Unable to sleep after an
urgent phone call from the office the first morning, he walked out to
the pier to clear his head. A small boat with just one fisherman had
docked, and inside the boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The
American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

“How long did it take you to catch them?” the American asked.

“Only a little while,” the Mexican replied in surprisingly good English.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American
then asked.

“I have enough to support my family and give a few to friends,”
the Mexican said as he unloaded them into a basket.

“But… What do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican looked up and smiled. “I sleep late, fish a little, play
with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Julia, and stroll into the
village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my
amigos. I have a full and busy life, senior.”

The American laughed and stood tall. “Sir, I’m a Harvard M.B.A.
and can help you. You should spend more time fishing, and with the
proceeds, buy a bigger boat. In no time, you could buy several boats
with the increased haul. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing
boats.”
He continued, “Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you
would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own
cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution.
You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village, of course,
and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles, and eventually New
York City, where you could run your expanding enterprise with
proper management.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, senior, how long will all this
take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years. 25 tops.”

“But what then, senior?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the
time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company
stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions, senior? Then what?”

“Then you would retire and move to a small coastal fishing village,
where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids,
take a siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings
where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos …”

Does this story sound familiar to you?

It seems that this is what we are trained to do in our modern society – to ‘think big’ and ‘aim for the stars’.

Most of the time however, what we really want in life is simple pleasures – food, relationships, comfort – which are easily within reach.

Are you going in the right direction?

Do you feel pressured to own a village, when what makes you happy is sleeping in your little hut?

That’s great. Why?

You’re aware of the discomfort of the situation, and once discomfort intensifies, action is born.

You are the master of your domain, the leader of your troop, the bearer of the map.

Go ahead, embrace a minimal lifestyle. Find your happiness now, not in 25 years’ time.

I see it as a journey to experience more with less. To live within my means, not my wants. To question the value of my activities, experiences, and belongings and determine if they are of positive or negative influence.

It’s a journey. One I have chosen as a quest, an adventure, as a new way of being.

I plan to live life happy now. How?

Live Simple.

 

Thanks for reading my work.

Like it? Please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time…..

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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Letting go of routine – Take a break from life and re energise

Personal Development, , , , , , , ,

Another long weekend has just passed in Australia, and it was a great time for me to unwind and take stock. I decided to explore the great outdoors with some wonderful friends, on an adventure to Porcupine Gorge.

As I drove home after the 3 days away, I realised that the most valuable experience I got was not actually the travel experience as I thought.

I got value out of a break from routine.

Have you ever felt in a rut? Like nothing you do excites you? Do you find yourself dreading home life.

I regularly do.

To re energise and overcome these feelings, I find it valuable to break my routine.

In this post I would like to touch on routine, and how valuable it is for me to experience a break. With this new awareness, you can go ahead and plan a routine retreat for yourself, and experience the benefits.

What is routine?

Routine, a task that you undertake regularly, is present in my life in the following ways.

  • Work – The continual act of addressing my professional occupation. In general, the population works from 9-5, 5 days out of 7. There is minimal time for ourselves, so it is natural for us to make stringent routines so that we may get the most out of our valuable time.
  • Living – Life outside can get overwhelming, so we tend to manufacture a safe, predictable, comfortable environment to shelter us. Quite often, this space rarely changes.
  • Hobbies – I’m busy outside my 9-5, and I’m sure you are too. Whether you be a forward on the football team, secretary of a garden club, or a champion on the WOW scene. We often fall to comfortable past times that make us feel good and act to positively reinforce our current abilities. As time passes, we may in fact be reinforcing bad habits.
  • Surroundings – As a general rule, we work, live, and play in the same space. Work in a city? Chances are you live there too. This limits the variety we can experience, and is in fact another form of routine

Let go of routine, just for a bit

Yes, it’s hard to let go and unwind. Sometimes it’s scary too.

Challenge yourself to try something different.

I decided to go camping and get out in nature. Doing this shakes up everything in my life – a new surrounding, living with people, preparing food without a kitchen, no shower or toilet facilities, being self sufficient.

At the end of the experience, I realised I had let go of so much emotional baggage, I had forgotten most of the week (the good and the not so good). It was refreshing to the mind.

I found that letting go of routine allowed me to release my emotional stress.

This, with a busy lifestyle, is a truly valuable and enjoyable experience.

I appreciate you taking time to read my work. If you like it, please share it with your friends on social media using the buttons below.

The more people I can help, the happier I’ll be.

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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3 reasons it’s good to celebrate little wins and focus on what matters

Personal Development, , , , ,

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

– Buddah

Welcome back to my dedicated readers, and a big Aussie G’day to those newcomers that have landed here through Facebook and Twitter.

How has your week been?

It’s been a huge week for me. So much has happened it puts my head into a spin.

I’ve made real progress in selling my property (which I touched on in my post about regret), I made big progress toward my new project (more info soon), and I may have landed a casual job in a coffee shop.

Things are in my favour. Life looks great, right?

Looks can be deceiving.

It’s strange how the human mind works. So many things that I have been dreaming of happening I find are coming to action, and I’m not happy, I’m not elated, I’m not celebrating.

I’m focusing on the struggles ahead, the work still to be done, the long, windy road.

I’m focusing on the challenges in a negative way.

It affected me so much, I just had to share it with you.

This post is a fix of positivity for your day. I want to highlight how the weeks’ important life developments have caused me to be overcome with negativity, my top reasons that celebrating little wins in times like this is so valuable, and how the process has allowed me to end the week on an awesome high! Hopefully there are some great tips you can take on board for your benefit.

Let’s get stuck into some good vibrations, shall we?

Big changes, and how focus on my challenges disrupted my week

Big changes for me are afoot.

In life there comes a time when the powers that be just seem to throw nothing but curve-balls at you, and then there are times when it’s a streak of home runs on your behalf!

That’s the thing. Life is full of personal wins (positive experiences), and frustrating challenges (negative).

I’m sure you can relate.

This week I had a number of life changing events that occurred for me. The thing is, I upon learning of the news, I quickly found ways to turn these ‘little wins’ into ‘oh no, more effort’ thoughts very quickly.

The negative mindset I created was anything but productive.

Here’s the main emotions I experienced.

  • I felt overwhelmed – Action, action, action! After so long pushing for and awaiting an outcome, all I could recognise at the time I received good news was that there was so much more work to do! Momentum was gaining, and it was now time to initiate the next phase. This meant work, and time.
  • I was depressed – So, times are a changing, mostly for the better, but what about all the hardship and sacrifice to get to this point? I found myself surrounded by the disruptive feelings of regret – regret for the choices I made, the actions I took, the people I’d hurt. It was depressing.
  • There was anxiety too – I rode through the feelings of overwhelmed, only to be faced with anxiety. Mental to do lists, fear of the unknown, pressure to perform, expectations to use my golden opportunity to charge forward to my dreams. So much expectation to perform, it fuelled toxic anxious feelings, disrupting my sleep and mental clarity. 

This is just part of my experience with the challenges I faced. These were a very powerful driver of my emotional state, until my girlfriend stopped my in my tracks, and pointed out that life wasn’t bad, I had achieved a lot, and that I was making incremental progress towards my dreams.

She was right, and It got me thinking differently.

It got me thinking of celebration!

Celebrating wins – 3 reasons it’s good to party

1.  Increase your sense of control over what’s important in your life

So, you just kicked a goal.

Great!

Celebrate these incremental steps that you have overcome. It highlights that for all your effort, planning, and persistence, you are the master of your domain.

You are in control of your destiny.

So you left the toilet seat up and you got spanked? Does it really matter? Probably not.

Focus on what matters in your life, and how you are dominating that area. When you focus on what you are achieving, no matter how small, you gain a sense of control and authority which is extremely empowering.

2.  It gives you positive motivation to push forward

You’re running a marathon and you’ve passed the 21km mark (half way). It’s a huge mental challenge, and you find yourself overwhelmed with thoughts of the craziness that your enthusiasm 5 months ago has led to!

Do you decide to a) focus on what’s still to go; or b) celebrate the pavement you’ve just dominated?

Hint: the right answer is b)!

You’ve just completed a half marathon, something most people in the world would never dream of doing! And, you’re still going! Might as well finish the job!

Celebrate the small achievements along the road to you dreams.

There’s lots of distance to cover, and it will seem worthwhile and motivating if you take time to put achievements into perspective.

3.  Reinforce your self worth and nurture your ego

When did thinking negatively and focusing on challenges ahead make you feel like you were a better, stronger, smarter person?

Chances are, never.

It’s important to recognise the good times during your journey and add them to your arsenal of awesomeness.

You can do great, you can achieve. Your only limit, is to what you believe.

This doesn’t mean you need to go overboard and let the whole world know (although, do that if it works for you!). Celebrate your efforts, your result, your achievement.

Celebrate for you.

Doing this will build a better self image to those around you, and will reinforce positive thoughts and behaviours.

TIP: Affirmations can be a great way to actively reinforce your small wins.

 

There’s a party at the end of my week, and I’m invited!

How did I transform my overwhelming, daunting start to the week?

I found my focus by looking at what matters most.

If you find yourself in a similar situation in life – faced with daunting life changes that only seem to create more negative challenges – remember the following 3 reasons to celebrate:

  1. Increase your awareness to the control you have over your thoughts
  2. Recognise wins that led you, and will provide motivation going forward; and
  3. Practice positive reinforcement of these wins to help be a more positive force!

I’m sure you’ll undergo a transformation that will prove a force to be reckoned with.

I know I did 🙂

I appreciate you taking time to read my work. If you like it, please share it with your friends on social media using the buttons below.

The more people I can help, the happier I’ll be.

Here’s to being your best self!

Jason

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10 things I learnt from regret, and why it’s no disappointment to let it go

Personal Development, , , , , ,

Regrets. I have them, and I’m sure you do too.

The feeling of regret is such a strong driver in my life, and in many ways it continues to be destructive.

Why?

Amongst many other things, It’s an incubator of negativity.

I’d like to use this blog post to raise awareness of regret – what it is, how it has impacted my life, and what it has taught me. No matter what walk of life you originate from, I hope you’ll be able to take my experience and try the practice of ‘letting go’ of any regret for yourself.

The freedom is liberating.

What is regret?

I am sure that what regret means to me may be different to you.

My experience leads me to recognise regret as a product of a number of things, which mainly include:

  • the act of being hung up on something
  • to dwell or focus on the past
  • being stuck in a negative thought pattern about a past event
  • unable to let go of a time gone by.

A more official definition of regret is:

“a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors, often expressed by the term “sorry.” Regret is often a feeling of sadness,shame, embarrassment, depression, annoyance, or guilt, after one acts in a manner and later wishes not to have done so.”

– Curtesey of Wikipedia

As I was writing this, I noticed a recurring theme. Did you?

Regret is all about the past.

In many ways, regret is an act of focusing on the negative that has been, and not giving yourself the freedom of letting go.

 

How regret has affected me

As I continue to learn about myself and about the way I impact the world around me (I see it as an increase in self awareness), and visa versa, I now see the importance that regret has played in shaping who I am.

Regret has driven me to make impatient decisions, force relationships, feel helpless, feel lonely, fuel desperation, and take impromptu action that has not always worked in my favour.

Like flying a jumbo through a tropical thunderstorm, It’s created an extremely turbulent journey so far.

A real life example

What prompted me to write this post is my current struggle with a previous decision to invest in property.

Without going into details, I began my journey into the Australian property market at age 25, because I felt it was the logical next step in my life.

I had a good job, lived in a nice town, and after a period of spontaneous job changes and crazy adventures overseas, I wanted to prove I was responsible and making progress with my life.

At the time, it’s what I thought was the right thing for me. It’s exactly what I wanted for myself.

Fast forward 3 years, and hindsight is a wondrous (and occasionally annoying) thing.

I now find myself in a changed circumstance, and the decisions I made at that time don’t agree with the new direction I want for myself. A direction that aligns closer with my newly realised values.

I have learnt a lot in the past 3 years, the most important which relates to this example being that I value freedom, and the ability to be spontaneous and mobile.

With my circumstance, I feel I can’t have that.

In comes regret.

As my unsuccessful attempts to sell this property amount, and seemingly take from me the ability to follow this strong calling of freedom, I regularly struggle with emotions of helplessness, anger, frustration, and regret.

It seems that nothing can go my way. The world is against me.

I’m at the mercy of my past decisions, and the regret of making them.

However, what I failed to see for a long time, is where there’s a negative, there’s always a positive.

Indeed, regret has taught me lots.

10 things I have learnt from regret

When I think more about it, regret has taught me a lot about myself and the way I continue to make decisions.

Below are 10 experiences I have encountered on my journey so far.

Maybe you can relate?

  1. The past is just that, the past. What has happened does not mean the future is dependent on it. You can change anything if you want. It may just take time.
  2. Decisions and actions, no matter the outcome, make you stronger.
  3. For all the bad times, there has been many more good times. Celebrate these, and remember them when times get tough.
  4. Things change, and that’s OK. Embrace change and learn from the new challenges you face as a result.
  5. The only person you cheat is yourself. If you believe something needs to be changed, then see to making it happen. 
  6. There is nobody more important than you. If you don’t take care of your best interests, then you’re unable to assist others with theirs.
  7. It’s OK to be wrong. In fact, its perfectly normal (and expected).
  8. There’s no harm in asking. Chances are the hurdle you face has been jumped before. Seek assistance. It makes life easier. You’ll find people love being given the chance to assist you. 
  9. Change takes time. Remind yourself that change is happening during the long stretches. It’s easy to have your vision clouded by negativity.
  10. Nurture your sense of hope, and have faith in your decisions. During your time of change, it’s what will keep you going.

There you have it. One of my many experiences with regret and how it continues to shape me as a person.

I hope you get benefit from the words I have written, and the reflection of one of my current challenges in life.

A key note to take away is that you are in control. 

Physically, this is not always the case (try arguing your case to the bank manager!), and it doesn’t always need to be.

Emotionally, you are in full control.

You can choose how emotions of regret can lead you. I’ve realised that it is far better to choose a positive route over a negative.

How about you?

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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