Tag Archives: mindfulness

The conundrum of comparison – why it’s best to stand on your own two feet

BOOK UPDATE!

Yep, I’m working on my very first book! I’m not yet ready to share the title with you, but I can say that it’s full of mindful tips to live even better. Sign up to my email updates to receive regular newsletters and updates on the progress of my writing!

 

I begin this post reflecting on my recent travel to Bali. As I met fellow travellers or overheard tales of exotic journeys, lavish accommodations, and tales of endless exciting locations to explore, I found myself attempting to match (or go one better) their stories with my own, since I didn’t want to feel insignificant or be left out.

I was comparing myself to others.

Now, as I adjust to life back in Australia, I notice that this doesn’t just apply to travel. I observe many others, and find myself on the odd occasion, falling into the trap of the destructive tendency to compare with others. It seems I’m not alone in this observation, as I recently received an email update from Leo Babauta with his post on comparison.

Yes, comparison is a conundrum that affects the best of us.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the old saying “it’s like comparing apples with oranges”. Think about it. You can’t. They’re two totally different fruits. It just doesn’t work, so how can we compare ourselves to other, totally different, and wonderfully unique people?

You can’t. Logically, we all know that. Let the apple and the orange be a prime example of this.

Why do we continue to compare to others, and why is it a good habit to learn the art of inner contentment?

Why we dare to compare

Comparison is a useful tool. We use it in our daily lives to assist in assessment of our options, and with great affect. After all, how do we know if we’re getting the best deal on peanut butter unless we have something else to compare to?

Peanut butter references aside, comparison is a tool used daily by each and every one of us – in both a positive and a negative sense.

Used to evaluate material objects (such as peanut butter), comparison can be of benefit and enable us to make a decision and move forward, rather than procrastinate and become stuck.

It’s when comparison is used on an emotional level that things can go pear-shaped, and it’s this form of comparison which I shall cover more in this post.

In the past, I have found myself using comparison in the following ways:

  • Social status/ranking – In the instance of travel, it’s easy to listen to other tales of exciting travels and become jealous, envious, and resentful towards the other person. I have experienced this first hand many times. The person storytelling has done nothing wrong, yet I found myself breeding resentment and negativity which was fuelled by jealousy of their tales! I would hence feel obliged to intercept their tale and begin my own story, attempting to gain admiration and respect of others in the group and the person with whom my conversation was centred. Those of you who’ve read How to Win Friends and Influence People will know that behaviour such as this is no way to go about it. Rather than curing myself of my discontentment, my rude interruption and generation of competition will likely create resentment, anger, disinterest, and a loss of respect from the person I’m conversing with. Comparison is a conversation killer – everyone appreciates a listening ear, and nobody likes being interrupted. Talking over others and stealing conversation isn’t polite. That’s a universal fact.
  • Feeling of importance – Similar to obtaining a higher status in a social circle, comparison can easily be used to generate an air of importance about yourself when, in truth, there’s nothing (and nobody) you are able to compare to. Sill, we try, fail, and try again – it’s what we’re trained to do by pop culture and media. Images of beautiful models, ripped abdominals, and fast, luxurious cars – these are all enticing us to want more, to dream more, and to compare with what we don’t have. Yes, it’s important to dream big and reach for the stars, as it’s how we grow. However, it’s also wise to recognize that your dreams are not the dreams of others. Build dreams around you and what you desire and what you aspire to. There’s no need to aspire to be the next Brad Pitt. Your journey will generate negativity and resentment of yourself if you do, since you will struggle to model this ideal picture of yourself (which by the way is not real, but rather a an image portrayed by the media).
  • Make ourselves feel better – Sometimes, there is no better reason to compare to others, other than to make us feel better. Ever get bullied when you were younger? Chances are the bully was trying to prove something. He (or she) was trying to make you feel insignificant by making a comparison of your (over-animated) situation to either themselves or another popular, significant figure at the time (e.g. the popular student). This can be used in the most peculiar ways. For instance, I remember being bullied when I was young for being ‘rich’, because I received a motorcycle for Christmas. This was upsetting for me, as my family was nothing of the sort, and I didn’t think highly of the label ‘rich’ at the time. The bully was getting the upper hand by using a comparison fuelled by jealousy. Did he feel better for doing so? Unlikely, especially in the long term.

In all situations, there’s no advantage in making comparison to others. It’s a dangerous game – one that will see you lose more than you ever thought you could gain.

Stand tall – how to avoid comparison cutting you short

Comparison is everywhere. It’s both useful and harmful to our being, depending on how you use it.

How can you step aside and control the urge to compare?

  • Practice active listening – Stop, appreciate, and recognize it’s not yet your turn. Got constructive feedback? Mid conversation isn’t the right time. Practice the habit of waiting until the speaker has finished. This will give you time to think over your well-scripted response to the person whom your attention is devoted, and will allow the complete transmittal of facts that you otherwise would have interrupted. I’m guilty for finishing the sentences of those I listen to, as I assume I know the answer to the topic which is spoken. Quite often, I’m proven wrong. It’s annoying to be interrupted, and the same goes for instances of comparison to others in conversation. Whether it be a direct interruption or a change of direction in the conversation, the result is the same. Learn to sit and listen to the whole story before telling yours.
  • Get curious – Recognize and note the wisdom you’re blessed to be hearing! If jealousy or resentment begin to rear their ugly heads, take a breath and remember to appreciate the time this person is taking to provide you with valuable knowledge you didn’t know before. Open your mind to the possibility that your attention to this person may lead to a higher understanding, new knowledge, and new friendships that excel your journey forward on new and exciting paths. There’s growth to be found in the journeys of others, not in the comparison with your own. Use the knowledge and apply it if it fits.
  • Recognise you’re on another journey – Everywhere you look, it’s possible to encounter something bigger, something better, something more. Your best friend buys your dream car. Your younger sibling marries and has children before you do. Your Facebook feed is rich with vagabonding travellers’ tales. The instances to make comparison are endless, and it’s easy to find yourself wanting the join the journey of others. If that’s the case, step back and ask yourself if it’s really what you want, or is it what you’re expected to want. It’s easy to become wrapped up in pressures society has constructed – you know, the whole get educated, get a job, get married, have kids, buy a house…. – and lose track of who you are and what you value most. Put these feelings of lust aside and remind yourself of the unique and wonderfully you journey that you’ve created for yourself.

Above all, it’s best to appreciate and be thankful for the exposure to the new and interesting ideas which have graced your awareness, and which you may use to shape your own future. Acknowledge, store the useful stuff, dispel lingering thoughts, then focus on the here and now. Dwelling on instantaneous emotions and future desires fuelled by comparison is counterproductive to your being, so take note and move on swiftly.

There’s bigger fish to fry.

 

I write here about comparison since it has affected, and continues to affect my life (much less nowadays thankfully) on a regular basis. As I pursue a path less travelled with my passion by writing to you here, it’s easy to be ridiculed by others close to you, and yearn for a stable career with an income to support a comfortable life. After realizing my values and working more on my passion, I now know it’s not what I want, so mu strength to fight against comparison is much stronger. 

Have you been affected by comparison? How have you tackled it? Let me know in the comments below!

Thanks for reading my work. I apologize it has been so long between posts. My recovery from travel and some unforeseen personal matters created a slight bum in my progress, but I’m getting back on track now!

Remember, if you like what you read here, please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time, be mindful…

Jason

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3 key diet changes to become more energetic, grounded, and mindful

In my previous post on mindful habits, I highlighted the changes I made to my daily practice in order to gain clarity, effectiveness, and mindfulness in my day.

What I neglected to mention is that not all change has come from habits alone.

Diet has been an extremely important component to my state of mind, state of health, and wellness of being. In fact, I maintain that it’s the most important part. All life force comes of energy, and (the majority of) ours is obtained through the fluids and foods we consume.

Using this nutritional awareness I obtained a couple of years ago through research and self-experiment, I’ve determined 3 key nutritional components to reduce and (almost) eliminate from my diet that have led to exponential increases in clarity, energy, positivity, and a decrease in depression and anxious tendencies. If you are having problems with focus, stress, anxiety, depression, and energy levels, I encourage you to read further and try my suggestions for yourself.

I’ve found great personal value in reducing the following, I hope you do too.

1. Caffeine from coffee

The world as it stands, revolves around the consumption of coffee.

As I write this post, from the balcony of my hotel in Bali, I watch other guests and the staff all consume coffee. It seems to be a daily ritual for most of the developed world. A way to fight the fatigue of daily life and ‘push through’ mental blocks, increasing productivity.

I’ve found completely the opposite to be true.

Below are two main reasons I advocate ‘kicking coffee’, despite how yummy it is.

Coffee blocks nutritional intake

There is much research that has been published on the topic, and a quick google search will highlight this, so I won’t delve into facts.

I’ve done enough research (and experimented enough) to be of the understanding that caffeine blocks receptors in my intestines and hampers the ability to absorb nutrients during digestion.

During my time of depression and general unhappiness, I was consuming 3 cups of coffee a day. I noted I would regularly be ‘run down’, have mild cases of the flu, and be mentally fatigued very quickly during the morning, even after restful sleep.

I’m confident that my body was starved of nutrient because of the caffeine.

Coffee messed with my head

This I know for sure.

I’m so glad I awoke to the effects of coffee on mental health, as since reducing coffee to once a week, I can feel the effects ever more. For example, I accidentally ordered a large flat white at a cafe, and my brain was a mess for the rest of the day. I couldn’t focus, had trouble with conversation, and was jittery and anxious. It wasn’t a fun feeling.

I’m confident it affects many others in a similar way. You may not realise it however, because you are constantly consuming coffee and have not experienced a ‘cleansed’ state without it in your blood.

When I first cleansed myself of caffeine from coffee, it took 10 days for the completion of the detox. Since then (over 12 months now), I rarely consume moe than 1 coffee a week, and have not looked back. I turn to green teas (high in antioxidants and contain a different strand of caffeine at lower doses) for a pleasant daily drink, and consume plenty of quality filtered water throughout the day. It’s far more refreshing and nutritious for my body.

2. Dairy products

The most widely consumed product in western society – milk (and subsidiary products) – is now beginning to be proven an unhealthy addition to our diets. Research is suggesting that humans are not designed to consume milk products past infancy.

Research aside, when I made the hard decision to remove dairy from my every day diet, I noticed a huge difference in my health.

Yoghurt was my vice. I would consume about 1.5kg of yoghurt per week, and splurge on a milkshake or two for a protein hit after a workout. After the decision to remove it, I noticed that I would no longer feel bloated, my digestion ‘felt’ better, and I was much clearer of mind.

I have not eliminated milk products altogether, as I see important benefits in occasional consumption to ensure I don’t develop an intolerance.

I don’t miss dairy, even the yoghurt (which was my favourite food!). The benefits of going without are definitely worth it.

3. Animal meat

Animal lovers and vegetarian advocates will love me for this one.

It’s true, I feel many time healthier when I don’t eat meat. My diet still contains large amounts of fish, and small portions of meat approximately 2 times a week, but the rest I fill with wholesome, plant based alternatives.

Stomach heaviness, constipation, lethargy, and sleep troubles, are all symptoms I developed when consuming meat daily.

Reducing meat alleviates strain on my body, and I’m doing my bit for the planet too. Animal farming is highly resource intensive, so less consumption means less production, and less burden on our stressed environment.

Am I getting enough nutrients and vitamins? Sure I am. What’s in meat can be found in vegetable products (B12 vitamins, protein, iron) which I ensure are an addition to my diet.

It’s true that there is immense improvement that can be made to your health and wellbeing through the way you think and behave, and I find equal benefit in addressing what you consume as your daily nutritional intake. Since reducing these 3 food types I’ve discussed:

  1. Coffee
  2. Dairy; and
  3. Meat

I’ve noticed significant improvement to the quality of my health, and the purity of my mindset.

If you’re experiencing a ‘slump’, lethargy, anxiety, or a general lack of wellness, I encourage you to try reducing your daily consumption of one (or all) of the above to see if there’s any benefit for you.

It’s all about making choices that work for you. You’ve got nothing to lose, so why not give it a shot!

 

Are there any foods you’ve eliminated from your diet that have had a profound impact on your life? Are there any particular food habits you have that work for you? Let me know via the comments below, I’d be very interested to hear from you!

Disclaimer – I am not a medical professional and do not write this piece on the basis of prescribing medical advice. I simply write about my own experiences, which maybe you can relate. Should you be experiencing strong cases of depression, anxiety, or any other, I recommend you seek professional medical advice from a certified practitioner.

Thanks for reading my work.

Like it? Please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time…..

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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8 energising and mindful habits I (try) practicing every morning

The alarm sounds on your smart phone. It’s an unwelcome start to the day, so you make it better by ‘rewarding’ with a Facebook update, email check, and a quick re-tweet or two.

It typically ends like this:

A friend posted photos of their holiday – you wish you were there.

You read about world destruction and animal cruelty – you’re angry and upset.

A good friend has messaged you to relieve themselves of their previous days’ worries – you’re already emotionally drained.

Your day is now interrupted, and even more energy is required to correct its course.

Since becoming aware of my ‘bad’ habits, I have found activities such as this – immediately turning to ‘info tech’ first thing in the morning for example – are a self-destructive interruption to my awakening, and lead to a less than productive day.

The morning is an important time for my mind to awaken to consciousness and start building thoughts, ideas and objectives for the day. I want these thoughts to be as positive and motivating as possible in order to provide me with ‘forward’ momentum for the day, not ‘backward’.

Therefore, I have made some conscious changes to my morning ritual (and daily habits) that have transformed my life – helping to generate clarity, energy, and inner peace. So much so, I wanted to share them with you.

I’m not perfect, and although I have practiced all 8 of the following habits, I have rarely comleted them all in a day, every day. My aim is to do so, and for now I attempt to trial them, adjust as necessary, and adopt them (and my lifestyle) to suit my needs.

It’s all about give and take, and finding what works best for you.

Enjoy!

1. Mindful awakening

A good friend introduced me to this concept not too long ago. It’s been a great addition to my morning, as I find the process of active awareness very helpful to gain clarity and focus in the mind.

It is best described as follows.

Instead of bolting upright and charging into your day upon awakening (either natural or by alarm), take stock and breathe, becoming slowly mindful of your consciousness, your state, your position in bed, whom you are with, and how good it feels just to lie in silence.

Practice for as long as you need. I do this for 3-5 minutes before rising.

NOTE: If you are prone to falling asleep after an alarm sounds, it may be a good idea to use the ‘snooze’ function to be sure you don’t accidentally sleep in!

2. Hydration

This is the most important step for your daily health and wellbeing.

The body consists of almost 80% water, and during your sleep phase is the time your organs choose to repair, re-energize, and refuel your body. In thee process, excreting toxins and waste.

In order to flush these toxins away and rehydrate, it’s important that you consume adequate clean water BEFORE you ingest any further material. I aim to consume at least a litre of water within 30 minutes of rising, and this frequently turns into 1.5 litres. The more the better.

Incorporating this habit also aids in reducing your hunger level, and subsequently the amount of food you consume in the morning – a great tip for those looking to lose weight.

3. Meditation

Meditation is a far-reaching topic in which I am certainly no expert. I have only just begun exploring the true value of this practice in clearing my mind and improving my self-control ability.

I was introduced to the concept of an ‘8-minute meditation‘ by a book recommendation from a friend. Essentially, you begin practicing meditation for an easy-to-digest 8 minute session per day, using a stopwatch to measure. I find a defined duration extremely useful in providing a ‘goal’ for the meditation session in the early days of meditation practice. As time progresses, you can choose to extend it if comfortable.

I find meditation helps to ‘centre’ my thoughts, which is extremely useful to have upon wakening. It’s easy to get caught up in the ‘should do’s’ and the string of positive (and negative) thought patterns of the past, present and future. Meditation is a way to practice the art of recognising these thoughts and controlling them so that they don’t control you.

4. Positive affirmations

The subconscious mind responds to what it is regularly told, so it’s important to start the day telling it good things!

Affirmations can be phrases, quotations or just inspirational sentences that give you a ‘pat on the back’ feeling. They will be unique to our taste and what areas of life you feel the need for a boost, so take the time to make a list of 5 affirmations you can recite 5-10 times each.

A great list of affirmations to get you started can be found here.

Find a comfortable, seated position (I find on the edge of my bed a great spot), put the affirmations where you can easily read them (I have mine posted on the wall beside my bed), and let the good vibes flow.

5. Visualizations

The subconscious mind doesn’t only respond to words.

Images are a useful way to manifest what you are aiming to achieve. I’m sure if you’re actively practicing personal development (like me), you’ll be aware of the ‘vision board’ concept, and using it to visualise future objectives, manifesting them to realisation via the law of attraction. The vision board is a useful prompt for your visualisation time. It’s also a way to repeatedly visualise objectives, which is necessary in order to cement them into your subconscious.

Fill your board with graphical representations of your objectives (material wealth, relationship desires, lifestyle design etc.) and place it in a suitable position (like on the wall next to your bed) where you can easily refer to it every morning. Take about 5 minutes to look at each image, close your eyes, and imagine living the objective it represents as if it were real.

You can find out how to make your own vision board using this helpful resource.

6. Movement

There’s nothing more energizing than blood pumping through your arteries, so start the day with exercise.

It doesn’t need to be heavy. It could be as simple as some yoga or light stretching, or you could choose a run or weight lifting session.

It’s totally up to you what you choose, just get those limbs moving and focus on deep, wholesome breathing to re-energize your blood with oxygen.

7. Nourishment

Your body consists of energy.

We are constantly creating and using energy through chemical processes in our body. As such, we need adequate fuel.

This will be another unique factor that you’ll need to play around with. I’ve experimented with different diets over the years and have decided the following works best for me:

  1. A large glass of Vital Greens, Pea Protein and filtered water within 30 minutes of waking (normally before meditation)
  2. A wholesome, mostly plant-based breakfast with no sugars or grains (avocado, eggs, spinach, beans, mixed vegetables, sweet potato, wholesome oils and seeds)
  3. A cup of green tea (differs depending on mood) and/or warm lemon water to digest.

Filling my morning with alkaline greens and protein gives me fuel, gives my muscles repairing nourishment, and leaves me feeling energised and fuller for longer.

8. Tackle creative tasks first

What’s the number 1 killer of effective work?

Mundane, repetitive, ‘tick and flick’ tasks.

Checking email, tweeting updates, social media surfing, ordering food online for your cat….. you know what I mean.

These are ‘feel good’ tasks. – tasks that make you feel like you’re being productive, when in reality you’re weaving all over the place without addressing the important stuff (like writing wonderful blog posts 🙂 ).

Drop all the little bits and pieces and hit the ‘hard’ stuff – the tasks which see you kicking goals towards your passion – first. You’ll have a greater focus, stronger mental capacity (without the constant stop-start or various tasks), and increased effectiveness of your workload.

If you’re finding there ‘aren’t enough hours in the day’ or ‘I never seem to make any progress’, I recommend you stop, look at your day, and see which of the following 8 mindful habits you can implement in order to find your mojo:

  1. Mindful awakening
  2. Hydration
  3. Meditation
  4. Affirmations
  5. Visualizations
  6. Movement
  7. Nourishment
  8. Starting with creative tasks.

I’ll point out that these habits are provided as a guideline.

I’m sure there are many more useful practices that could be used to give your day a boost (e.g. now in a flourishing relationship, I regularly add intimacy with my partner since we awaken at similar times. This intimate connection with another fills my ‘love tank’ and gives me energy and vitality). Feel free to add, subtract, or modify their order as you please.

You are unique, so what works will be up to you to determine through experiments.

These 8 habits have helped me substantially, and I hope you can work towards a more mindful, effective day for yourself, now that you have an awareness of them too.

 

Are there any habits that you find help kickstart your day in a positive way? What tricks do you use to be effective at your work? I’d love to hear about them. Please leave a comment below!

Thanks for reading my work.

Like it? Please share with your friends on social media. The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Until next time…..

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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Does the meaning of life seem lost? Values are your roadmap – Here’s 3 ways to find them

Personal Development, , ,

Who am I? Values will help you.

Has there been a time in your life where what you did made you feel uncomfortable? Was there a deep sense of wrong doing as a result?

Have you just felt like you were lost?

Chances are that you were acting against your values.

I decided to write this post as I recently felt this sense of ‘wrong doing’, and wanted to share with you the importance I see of being true to your values, and to yourself.

It’s been an interesting journey I’ve taken in recent years, and I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t have a clear understanding of the concept of ‘values’, what they were, or how important they were in defining who I was, who I wanted to be, and what I stood for as an individual. Now I know.

Values are like signs on a road trip.

Values are there to guide you, to keep you on course as you navigate the adventure of life.

I’m going to use this blog post to discuss the concept of values and how important they are to your positive growth, and 3 ways you can use to find out what they are. I hope that with this new found awareness you’ll be able to start kicking harder, reaching higher, or looking in a previously unused cupboard which keeps the cookies you desire…….

Let’s do it!

What are values?

As I mentioned, values are like personal indicators that drive you to take certain action.

Personal values provide an internal reference for what is good, beneficial, important, useful, beautiful, desirable, constructive, etc. Values generate behaviour and help solve common human problems for survival by comparative rankings of value, the results of which provide answers to questions of why people do what they do and in what order they choose to do them.

~ Wikipedia

Values are there to drive us to unique, agreeable action. Action that aligns with our personality.

So that’s what values do, but what exactly are they?

Well, values are words. Descriptive words to be precise.

They’re words that you use to represent the desirable qualities, traits, morals and ideals that make you, you.

For example, here are some possible values you could adopt as your own:

Example Values List

This list in far from exhaustive. Use it as guidance as you read further and attempt to explore your own personal values in future 🙂

I’m confident you will. Here’s why…….

Why are values important?

The importance of values goes deeper than just fancy adjectives….

Values are used to provide consistency.

Let me explain.

Let’s say you go to a new hairdresser. The business you’ve found is clean, the patrons are friendly, and you receive an excellent cut. You can tell the hairdresser has a keen eye for detail, and the hour it took indicates that your hair was taken care of. You leave a very happy customer, and vow to return again in future.

You return to find the same stylist that tends your hair, but there is something lacking in the quality compared to last time. You aren’t offered a complimentary coffee, and the floors clearly have yet to be swept for the day. You are rushed through a cut and feel as though you were an interruption to their busy schedule. Strange you think, but you are adamant that you’ll give them another chance and it’ll be better next time.

On your third visit, you are informed of a price increase to account for rising overhead costs, and the stylist you normally have decided to move interstate. What initially attracted you to the place has dissolved. The experience has changed. You will not be back.

Notice what was lacking?

Consistency in experience. 

Have a think. I’m sure there are many instances, not just hairdressing, where you act upon the expectation of consistency in an experience.

If your actions, words, thoughts, emotions are inconsistent, you find yourself in a state of confusion. Progression is slow, and resistance to that which is unknown is, well, impossible.

You need to define yourself in order to navigate the waters of your choosing.

Values be your tool.

How do you find your values?

Chances are you already know your values. You just aren’t aware yet.

That’s the trick.

Self-awareness.

Realizing your values is a result of the self-awareness process.

Depending on the level of self-awareness, most of us won’t have ‘categorised’ our ways into values before. We simply act upon them without recognising what they are.

Besides being a tool to determine your values, self-awareness is valuable on many levels.

Research shows that successful people share the common trait of self-awareness.

They spend time listening to their inner being, and realizing who they really are outside of external influence.

In fact, people who are self-aware are generally:

  • able to find ways of achieving objectives that fit their personality
  • understand their limitations and where they are not effective
  • more likely to pursue the right opportunities, in the right way, at the right time, and get the results they desire.

So, becoming self-aware and present to your personal values has the ability to boost the quality of your life.

How do you find out what they are?

There are a number of ways, including the following.

1. Create a list of your activities and dreams

What do you get up to in your spare time? What do you do for work? Do you have hobbies, interests, dreams and desires? Sure you do.

Write them down.

These ‘snippets’ of your life are valuable pieces which highlight what you gravitate towards.

Love hiking in the forest? Chances are you value your environment.

Love your teaching job? A big part of that is likely your desire to give back or contribute.

Take your time. Write a list, keep it close, and visit it frequently.

Although your values seem like they wouldn’t change, they will. You’ll find that they’ll change as much as you do, so don’t be afraid to edit the list.

A values list isn’t concrete.

Concrete is solid, but it only lasts a certain time before it’s replaced. That’s because concrete is only as solid as the foundation it’s built on.

Values are a bit like concrete.

Some of your values will stay, some will need to be replaced. It depends how ‘solid’ they are.

Be free. Explore and modify as you feel, until your foundations are strong.

2. Take a test

If you’re scientifically minded like me, I’m sure you’d be interested in a tool that helps you out.

The good news is there are plenty out there on the web – some free, some not – with varying degrees of effectiveness.

This free test by Anthony Robbins is extremely comprehensive. It’s a one-stop-shop and uses the personality profiling principals of DISC to provide insights into your personality and the values that compliment it.

I found it extremely good as an introduction to the value finding process. It provides good explanation and background into the theory, psychology, and how the information can be used effectively.

This is not the only one. Try taking a look on Google for more resources.

3. Shake up your routine, and travel!

What’s a better way to ‘discover yourself’ than to spend quality time doing what you really love to do?

Travel can provide clarity, time, and space for self-awareness to evolve, if done the right way.

I recommend travel for a period of 2 – 3 months. 

It takes 30 days (1 month) to successfully build habits and a solid routine, and even longer to break them.

I’ve embarked on 2 such journeys – 6 months in Europe and 2 months in Asia – and found the ideal time to be around 3 months for me. If you’re in a situation to just ‘run with it’ and travel for as long as you feel, that’s perfect.

In any case, start with a minimum of 1 month. Any less will be a waste of your time as you continue to follow habits, processes, and engrained ways of being to survive in a foreign land.

In order to truly find yourself, you need to get uncomfortable, then have enough time to determine how to get comfortable again in your new environment.

Leave what you have been ‘trained’ to do in your everyday life (due to necessity, convenience, or for lack of a better means). Explore yourself and the world at the same time.

It’s a challenging, liberating, rewarding, and enlightening experience.

There you have it. If you’re feeling a bit lost in life, you’ve got a place to start.

When feeling lost, turn to your values.

Try one of my 3 methods of discovery – documenting your life, official tests, and travel – to make your own list and start using it as a reference.

In your darker times (of which you will certainly come across), turn to these and alter your path according to their guidance. Use them and have faith that your resulting actions have a greater chance of leading you down the right path, rather than around in circles.

 

How’d you go? Have you made your list yet? Did you already have a list and decide to refine it, creating a new, firmer foundation? I’d love to hear your thoughts and what direction you’re choosing to take as a result of awareness to your values. Get in touch!

 

I appreciate you taking time to read my work. If you like it, please share it with your friends on social media.

The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

 

 

Create your future – 3 areas of your life to use selection and get what you want

Personal Development, , , , , ,

The power of selection in your life

Are you the type of person that tends to go with the flow? How about your friends. Are they the result of a period of lonely desperation?

Take a break, step back, and ask yourself the following question.

Is your life in “fate’s” hands, or are you the captain of your ship?

Honestly.

How much of what has happened in your life is the result of your desire to have it happen? Are the people in your life providing a positive contribution to your growth? Do your actions align with who you are, and more importantly, who you want to be?

I can say with certainty that I was floating along for many years, not attracting positive outcomes that aligned with my spirit and inner being. It seemed no matter how hard I tried to make things work (relationships, goals, outcomes, dreams etc.), they never seemed to ‘stick’.

Now, as I am sooo much older (joke) and wiser, I can see what was missing all along.

I was missing the importance of selection.

Used positively, selection will give you the ability to reach new heights, and master your destiny.

This post is going to talk about the practice of selection – what it is to me, how I have used it, and the three areas which I see it can improve the outcome of your goals, dreams, desires, and help you find relationships you’ve dreamed of.

What is selection

Although this blog post will cover my spiritual and emotional views on selection, I find many similarities in the scientific definitions.

Take a look below. I’ve highlighted some interesting points.

In the context of evolution, selection refers to individuals with advantages or“adaptive” traits, who tend to be more successful than their peers reproductively—meaning they contribute more offspring to the succeeding generation than others do.

~Wikipedia

Natural selection is the gradual process by which biological traits become either more or less common in a population as a function of the effect of inherited traits on the differential reproductive success of organisms interacting with their environment. It is a key mechanism of evolution.

~Wikipedia

The definition of selection

Using these evolutionary-based definitions, I present to you my definition of selection as:

Selection – a process applied by individuals in which desired traits are inherited by deliberate exposure to a chosen population and/or environment. 

Selection is everywhere.

At a subconscious level, it drives us to pick certain people as partners, to desire certain objects, to behave certain ways.

Good news is, it can be controlled.

Selection can be a choice you make.

Not only is selection programmed into our being as evolution, I believe there are strong advantages that can be gained through adaptation of this concept into your thought process, and your action.

Yes, you can choose selection in your life.

Selection is a framework for you to act on your preferred choices.

Sure, it acts at a subconscious level constantly without us even knowing; but what if you could increase your awareness to the process? How could you use the process of selection to create positive outcomes in your life?

The first step is a commitment to action – to act upon your desire to change.

This is key.

No matter how much you dream, visualise, think about something, nothing eventuates without some form of action from you.

The next step is to choose which areas to act upon.

3 areas of your life that the use of selection will improve

It sounds selfish, but I’ve been gradually increasing my practice of selection since Anthony Robbins brought it to my attention through his audio programs in 2012.

That’s because selection requires you to choose and act upon options that are best for you. 

So where can you apply selection and why would you bother?

Here are 3 areas of my life which have seen profound improvement by using the selection process.

1. Relationships

This is the single most important area for me, and chances are it is for you too.

Why? Consider the following quote:

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

~Jim Rohn

I’m a social person – more of an extrovert than an introvert. Human interaction is one of my primary means of learning, and a topic of personal interest. This means that I find myself easily influenced by the people I choose as company.

The company I choose has a direct influence on the habits, skills, and mental health I learn and adopt.

I’ve met and bonded with some great people in my time, and I’m grateful to have them as friends today. On the other side of the spectrum, there are some people that who I’ve had limited choice over due to my environment at the time (see the next key area below).

I’m sure you will agree when I say that not all relationships are equal. It’s true that all people can provide you with value – be it company or knowledge –  so long as the value aligns with your chosen goals, values, morals etc.

You have the ability to select those people you feel are contributing positively to your growth. Why not use it?

If someone doesn’t align with your aims, it isn’t right to outright ignore, discount, or in any way direct offence toward them. After all, how are they to know? Your choices are not their choices. Consider their offerings, and decline graciously if you decide they aren’t a good fit for you.

Be kind, respectful, and compassionate with your dealings. After all, it isn’t hard to practice the simple act of courtesy to those we meet.

Besides, the world could never run short of kindness and compassion.

2. Environment

This is the most obvious area of life that influences our future.

Choosing a place to live, getting that ideal job in the city, a holiday on the ocean listening to the waves…….

Our environment can play a huge part on how we feel, and thus how we are able to learn, grow, and interact.

Ever been put in an environment that made you feel anxious, overwhelmed, trapped etc.? Not an ideal space to harbour learning or personal growth, and an ideal place for negativity to flourish.

In some cases, your work, hobbies, or even where you live, all lead to an environment that can be toxic to your future. It will be unique for each person of course. There are no one-cause-fits-all answers, nor do there need to be. Based on this post, you already know the answer right….

Selection.

OK, so it may be difficult to have your cake and eat it too, so I’ll be more specific.

Select an environment that aligns with your goals, values, morals etc. that you can spend the majority of your time amongst.

Like the environment? Live near a park.

Love being outdoors? Have lunch outside.

Want to save the Koalas? Don’t work for a mining company (this is a personal one for me!).

Choose what environments nurture your positive growth and select them, committing to action.

3. Sources of Information

Today’s world revolves around information. You’re absorbing more right now. Television, radio, newspapers, magazines, internet, social media….. The list of influential information is extensive, and getting longer.

When was the last time you applied a filter to the information you’re exposed to?

Do you watch the evening news? The morning news? Read a newspaper?

Have a think about how often you remember seeing something positive. Something with substance. Something that actually had relevance to your life and your future.

Chances are, you won’t remember many.

Surprising isn’t it, considering how much time people spend exposing themselves to the overload of information out there.

Selection, selection, selection.

Timothy Ferriss talks about the concept of a ‘low information diet’ in his book, the Four Hour Workweek, to get you to see what it’s like to remove yourself from information overload. Essentially, you go without viewing/reading/listening to any form of informative or educational material for a week, and see if your life is really worse of for it.

After performing this selective information intake continuously for about 2 years now ( i don’t watch or read world news, and if I want to know then I ask someone instead), I can guarantee your life won’t stop. In fact, quite the opposite.

With less unnecessary information, there is space for meaningful information.

Rather than just listen to any old audio for something to do, or slouch on the couch in front of the news because that’s the ‘done thing’, select what information works for you and provides you real value to enrich the quality of your life.

Watch an inspiring documentary, read that novel, start that long delayed project.

Practice selective information intake, and you’ll find many more hours in your day to put towards things that matter to you. Feel the need to find out what’s happening in the world? Ask someone else. They’ve spent the time absorbing it all so you don’t. Use them!

Less time spent on unnecessary information, means you’ll have more time to do what you want.

And you can start right now!

I’m going to challenge you to make the process of selection a concious consideration in your life. No longer is it an evolutionary term which you let happen. It can be controlled.

Select your relationships, environment, and the information you expose yourself to wisely.

Use my definition to empower yourself, and carve your destiny so that you get what you want in life.

You have a choice, and no matter how hard it seems, you have the ability to take action.

Selection is the actioning of your choice.

Get out there and start creating your future!

Are there any areas of your life other than those mentioned above that you feel contribute to the quality of your life, and the creation of your future? I’d love to hear about it! Tell me more in the comments below.

I appreciate you taking time to read my work. If you like it, please share it with your friends on social media using the links.

The more people I can inspire, the happier I’ll be.

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

Law of attraction, or are some things just meant to be? – 3 things you must do to become a master of your destiny

Personal Development, , , ,

No, this isn’t a ramble on a higher power.

This is a post emphasising that the power is within you.

Let me explain.

Lately I’ve been concious to some interesting things happening around me.

Actually, it’s hard not to be. I am finally undergoing big life changes, working towards a more positive direction.

  • I got a second job at a cafe, a dream of mine for many years now, and have met some really cool people (high 5 Emily 🙂 )
  • A relationship with a loved one ended (her choice), opening my eyes to the truth of the situation
  • I sold my apartment in Townsville
  • I resigned from my full-time job in engineering.

Why did these events happen for me? Did they manifest naturally, or did I have part in their creation?

Were they meant to be, or has my attitude, actions and mindset attracted the results?

Actually, I think that there is nothing that is ‘meant to be’.

Put another way, I’m sure that nothing is a coincidence.

It’s an interesting, curious question. and one I’d like to explore further with you in this post. I’ll take a look at my perspective more, and share with you my three ‘must do’ habits that you can use to start attracting positivity to your life.

1. Manifest the future through positive beliefs

This is a new concept for me to acknowledge, although I admit I have been curious for a long time.

Manifestation (creation through positive beliefs) is a concept that is being chorused frequently as the globe trends toward a greater awareness of alternative concepts.

Put simply:

Manifestation is creating an outcome based on the visualisation of it happening.

To believe, or not to believe?

There is no right or wrong answer. In fact, there is no answer, as it’s a rhetorical question!

My thoughts are that, no matter what, you are in control of your surroundings.

You have complete control over your destiny, and you are able to attract (and deter) people, objects, and experiences to your life.

For example, consider the following positive beliefs of mine:

  • Ask and you shall receive – There is no harm in asking. In fact, you can only gain from the exercise. You either gain what you were asking for (be it an object, knowledge etc.), or you gain an answer to provide closure to your curiosity. Try it for yourself. It will open a new world of possibility.
  • You already know the answer – Yep, you are smart, smarter than you realise. It can be uncanny how often you undertake a task, relationship, or other, and after the ‘honeymoon period’ has ended, you feel your initial judgement, before it was hidden by the euphoria of the ‘good feelings’, becomes present once again.

Use these as simple cues to shift your mindset to a more positive, driven one, and watch the changes flow.

2. Remind yourself of your potential

In amongst all the negativity that the majority of us are surrounded by (take the news for example – how many people died in the world today?!), it is easy to become overpowered, overwhelmed, overcome.

The world can make you feel powerless.

Don’t worry. I get it. I have been victim of the influence of social pressure too (and still do – I’m human after all).

The good news is I now recognise how easily I am influenced by my surroundings.

This can work for me and against me.

To make a positive start to each day, I am actively nurturing the idea that I have potential, I have power, and I can do what I want to do.

Practice positive reinforcement.

This can be done in many ways.

I choose to spend the first 15min of my day going over a number of vision boards, mantras, and performing meditation. As part of my exploration into this morning ritual, I created a poem to myself – a younger me – to provide words of wisdom.

I’m pretty proud of it, and I’d like to share it with you.

Poem to my Younger Self

by Jason Townsend

Life is a struggle, of ups and downs,
always new challenges, testing and trying.
The path most travelled, bears mediocre returns,
The path less travelled, is one travelled by few.
Don’t be disheartened. Although there is less traffic on these streets,
Your actions will inspire, creating many followers you will meet.
 
Your heart is a beacon, a map, a sign,
Let your heart be your guide, and in a positive direction you will wind.
You are perfect as you are, comparison do not dare,
For in self and inner beauty, comes a strength you can’t compare.
Don’t become stagnant, don’t wait idol wishing for a guide,
Be the source to inspire them, a source of admiration and pride.
For when you act as those whom you want to find,
The law of attraction will present itself, and you’ll create a following in time.
 
I give you these, my humble words,
As I float here, high with the birds.
You can do great, you can achieve,
Your only limit, is to what you believe.
So go out there and make your mark,
Use these learnings, and don’t forget.
There’s little to be made from burning regret,
Go forth, be known, don’t waste your time,
Do what matters, what makes you shine.

 3. Practice mindfulness and let positive energy flow

Mindfulness is moment-by-moment awareness of thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, characterized mainly by “acceptance” – attention to thoughts and feelings without judging whether they are right or wrong.

– Wikipedia, 2014

You really, really want something to happen?

Stop thinking about it so much!

It’s great to visualise your goals, desires and objectives, but it is unproductive to obsess over them.

In my experience, it’s easy to get caught up in anticipation and expectation – looking to the future and neglecting the present.

Future worries = anxiety = negative energy.

Stop negativity in it’s tracks by practicing some mindfulness. For some, this comes through meditation (traditional relaxation, exercise, repetitive tasks, music, yoga) or it can be practiced actively.

How do I practice active mindfulness?

If I find myself in a negative spin, or focusing too much on that out of my control (i.e the future), I acknowledge this feeling for what it is and take a better look…….

I become curious and inquisitive of my thoughts.

Question why you feel as you do, especially if it is negative. You have control. Take it before negativity manifests into something worse.

Always ask yourself this valuable question if you find yourself dwelling over something:

What else could this mean?

Taking the time to stop, take a breath, and ask this valuable question is the beginning of your mindfulness journey, and a sure way to tackle negative energy.

Are things meant to be? I don’t think so.

Everything is in your control. After all, your mind interprets all of your senses.

The world that you live in is an interpretation provided by your mind.

Therefore, you can master your surroundings, your emotions, your destiny, by transforming the way you think!

Lucky for you, I’ve covered 3 things at a minimum that you could implement today to begin your journey to attract positivity to your life.

  1. Manifestation through positive beliefs
  2. Remind yourself of your potential
  3. Practice mindfulness

These are easy habits to implement into your routine. You may need to get up 30 minutes earlier in the morning, but it’s worth it.

Start your day on a high. Implement these three positive steps and begin attracting positivity, and take charge of your destiny.

If you’d like guidance with any of the topics I’ve discussed, feel free to get in touch. I am always happy to learn through the experience of others and assist where I can.

Once again, I appreciate you taking time to read my work. If you like it, please share it with your friends on social media.

The more people I can help, the happier I’ll be.

Yours in inspiration,

Jason

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