You’ve got an idea.
A dream, a passion, a goal; a desire to be something else.
Progress is being made, but there are some days where you find yourself chasing other, juicier carrots.
It’s you, the donkey, that must decide whether the carrot in your face or the carrot awaiting you during the course of your journey, is worthy of the crunch. Despite your hunger, you already know the answer……..
Is this you?
Are you getting distracted by the abundance of opportunity?
Or should I say, I was.
I’d like to share a musing today on change – the ups, the downs, the internal struggles, and the gratification once your mind becomes comfortable with the concept.
It can be difficult. You can ask anyone out there and you’ll no doubt get the same response.
Change is hard.
Those who come out on top will also tell you that change can be one of the most difficult obstacles that you face in life. That’s not all though.
Change is hard, and the rewards make it all worthwhile.
This post will introduce you to the concept of change. How it manifests, how you could (and could not) react, and how the simple act of faith and self belief can give energy to push forward against it’s seeming adversity. You can use the three simple coping methods to work towards your exciting changes knowing that if you feel disheartened, lost or misguided, you aren’t alone.
Have faith, believe in yourself, and follow your heart.
The process of change
Recognise – What’s that in the wind?
Change, that’s what.
Change is inevitable.
Change is always coming.
Whether you look forward to a change or dread it, change triggers powerful effects in your body and your emotions. For most people (myself included), we get comfortable in how things are and the ways we do things. Routine is predictable, reliable comfortable. Change goes against this.
Quite often, change = stress.
Fortunately, with the right thinking, you can increase your sense of control and steer your life into positive territory when you know how to deal with change.
Knee-jerk reaction – Undesirable ways you could combat change
Change is on it’s way, and you know it.
Time to freak out!
Why is it happening? What can you do to stop it? What does it all mean? How are you going to work this into your life? What will so-and-so think?
The self talk can be overwhelming.
What’s the first thing to do once you realise change is coming?
- The coping method – The act of simply giving in to change, letting it control you, and living as best you can, albeit powerless. As long as you are coping, just getting by, your have limited choices. Change is at the wheel. You are not in control. As such you could feel trapped, cocooned and isolated, and you could miss out on other opportunities as you spend energy just keeping up with the change.
- Fight the change – Armed with ample amounts of anger and frustration, you could face change front-on in a full counter-attack! If you’ve ever tried this ‘path of maximum resistance’ you’ll know that this tactic can easily sap your strength. Since the fight is normally undertaken alone, you can also find yourself battling feelings of loneliness alongside the daunting pressure of the fight. Not nice.
Hold on, is this really the best thing to do?
I have learnt through experience that the answer is clearly no.
Fighting against change only creates further stress in life. After all, adding fuel to the fire never put it out, so it’s best not to spend excess energy on something that may be largely out of your control.
When it comes to considering acting against change, I find it’s best to do a self assessment of the situation and ask:Is the effort worth the reward?
Your answer will give guidance as to the path worth taking.
Diminishing hope – The ferocity of self doubt
Sometimes the true and desirable path doesn’t become known quickly.
It’s one thing to cope, and another to fight, but what about when you are struck with ‘paralysis through analysis’?
The longer you dwell on change, the more you doubt your ability to deal with it.
Your resistance to negativity falls, your courage takes a beating, and your hope faith falters.
Self doubt sets in.
This, in my experience, is most damaging to your progress. It is very easy to convince yourself that you are simply not good enough, not strong enough, not capable, to make change work for you.
And self doubt get’s worse over time.
To stop your self doubt manifesting itself into a force to be reckoned with, consider the following:
- Treat change as a process – Dealing with change is not like an electric switch that is either on or off. There are many steps and components involved. It will take time.
- Reframe the way you think about change – Choose to give positive meaning to change. Even if you’ve never tried it, you CAN thrive on change.
3 ways I deal with change, and how you can too
Change needn’t be daunting. It needn’t be scary, and it doesn’t have to be hard.
When dealt with positively, change is what leads you onwards on your journey.
Change + positivity = opportunity.
Now that I’ve set you up with a relaxed, positive mindset, how can you now go about dealing with change?
1. Set smart goals
Goals are so important in determining a direction for your change. Don’t get caught up in the ‘big question’ goals though (like “what do I want to do with my life”), as these are poorly defined and are not useful in your quest.
Set smart goals.
Use incremental steps so you can consciously and effortlessly guide the change. Use the concept of ‘chunking’ – break things into manageable steps. If your goal is to run 10km, start by completing smaller 3km efforts. Do 3 of these, and you have suddenly reached the 10km goal!
Write out your goals and your plans to meet them. Remember, these are ideas that are totally changeable. Goals are as fluid as you are, so don’t stress about commitment if it bothers you.
Just start, and let momentum build.
2. Adopt and attitude of positivity, anticipation, and gratitude
Welcome change as an opportunity, not something to fuel negativity.
Negative thoughts block your creativity and problem-solving abilities. Positive thoughts build bridges to possibilities and opportunities.
Find the benefit in the change.
There is always a benefit and opportunity to be found, if you look in the right places.
Practice mindfulness, adopt awareness, be grateful.
These are useful tools that will help you develop a deeper understanding of what you really want to achieve
3. Communicate with supportive people
Talking with people helps, a lot.
Sometimes it’s simply too much to do alone. Finding a support network to assist you with your task can help you deal with the stress of change.
Be selective with your audience.
In your time of transition and hardship, It’s easy to be persuaded by anothers’ point of view. Make sure that the company you turn to has your interests at heart, and who understands the true meaning of the change you face.
Having someone give false support based on a lacking knowledge of your situation will only add confusion.
You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with.
Choose your company wisely.
Make sure they’re the type that encourage positive growth for you.
Change. It’s a sometimes difficult necessity to personal growth.
The good news is, change is only as difficult as you make it.
I hope my three ways to deal with change, smart goals, attitude, and support, provide you with some useful guidance to combat any current and future change in your life.
As I go through my upcoming changes, I will certainly reflect on this post. I hope you do too. Good luck with your endeavours, I know you will do well.
Remember, nothing is as bad, hard, painful, scary as it seems.
Have faith, believe in yourself, and follow your heart.
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The more people I can help, the happier I’ll be.
Yours in inspiration,
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